Huminshou
by Zelia Theb
Summary: Koenma makes a bet which results in Hiei committing a crime. The demon's punishment? He's now confined to Yusuke's building. What's that toddler thinking? Complete HieiYusuke
1. Zoom!

Warnings: **PG-13**. Minor cursing, cute boy-boy love, smoking, and other PG-13 stuff. If there was no swearing, I might be able to get away with PG. So PG-13 to be safe.

**Update:** I would like to thank everyone who helped make this one of my most popular stories. You're all amazing, and I appreciate the support you gave me through the years since this was originally "published." Thank you!

If you want a rough idea of what you're in for, I'll explain. This fic is a romance, cloaked in a parody. What does it parody? A little bit of everything. At the time of its conception, I asked myself a lot of silly questions (see old A/N below). I needed an outlet for these questions, but as I wrote and read stuff on the site (years ago), I came up with more questions. There were a lot of myths going around about YYH, whether it be the sweet-snow, characterizations, or assumed events, mostly spawned by doujinshi and fanfics. Not to mention character bashing. There was also a lot of Hiei/Kurama, and lots of hate if anyone wrote anything different. So I guess you can read this with that in mind - it's a parody of all things that occurred in the series and fandom back in 2004. It was also written before I initially finished the series (and before the English manga was published), so consider it an AU-ish branch of time.

**-- This chapter was updated 4-19-2010 --  
**

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**Disclaimer: **_**Yu Yu Hakusho**_** is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.**

Huminshou

By Zelia Theb

* * *

There was a knock at the door, prompting the delinquent teenager (who was previously seated on a light gray sofa) to interrupt his TV time and answer it. He put out his cigarette in the ashtray, which was placed conveniently on the coffee table, and stretched before walking to the door.

He strode past the small kitchenette of the new apartment and stopped to check out his reflection in a mirror hanging next to the entry door. His brown eyes scanned over the ebony locks of hair, which he had neglected to slick back with gel this morning, and he smiled, pleased at his appearance.

The knocking became stronger. The boy sighed then yelled, "Okay, okay already!" and opened up the door to find…no one. He poked his head out the door and checked his vision left and right down the corridor of the apartment building. No one, not even a note or a package.

"Whatever, jerkbag…" he muttered as he went back inside and shut the door behind him. He searched through a drawer in the kitchen and pulled out a gold colored box of cigarettes. He proceeded to pull out one of the slender white sticks and placed the butt end on his lips while tossing the pack back into its drawer. After finding a red lighter on the countertop, he flicked the lever, about to light up, but the flame was put out by a chilling wind that came from the window behind the sofa.

"Can't answer the door but you can light up a cigarette and kill yourself," a sneering voice said from the direction of the gust.

"What the hell, Hiei? Why didn't you just do that in the first place instead of making me get up?" the annoyed boy asked the intruding demon.

"Speak for yourself, Detective," the shorter one remarked. The two glared at each other for a few more moments until the detective burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Hiei asked.

"You're wearing black jeans and a red sweater, moron! Look at you!" the boy cried out, pointing a finger at the strangely normal dressed demon standing near the window. Hiei glowered at him, wishing that he was allowed to remove the white ward from his own raven hair and cause Yusuke to burst into flames.

"Koenma said I had to!" the angry demon defended upon realizing that Yusuke was _not_ going to stop laughing. This only made the hysterical boy grab his stomach and fall to the floor (unfortunately for him, it was out of laughter, not spontaneous combustion as the demon had hoped).

Noticing that the items were rather loose (even the sweater), Yusuke snided, "So where'd you get a get up like that? Did Kurama loan them to you on one of your little "visits" to his bedroom?" He quickly brought his forearms up to shield himself, because Hiei had just lunged at his throat and toppled them both over onto the floor.

"The thought of being in the same bed as Kurama is revolting! Why must you insolent fools insist on suggesting that he and I are a couple!" Hiei asserted as they wrestled on the floor. "I wouldn't be caught dead in Kurama's pants, in either meaning!"

"Eghh!" Yusuke panted in a very chalky voice, his face turning a strange mixture of peach, blue, red, and purple. "Air!"

"Hn," Hiei huffed as he let go of the human boy and seated himself on the sofa.

"Okay, I get it…" Yusuke stated when he regained his vision. He plopped down next to his scowling friend (although Hiei would never admit it) and touched the fabric of the sweater. Yep, it's a sweater all right. It was then that he noticed _them_.

"When you steal things, you're supposed to rip the tags off before wearing them!" Yusuke teased. He placed a hand dangerously close to Hiei's neck and ripped off one of the tags hanging from a plastic connector without dying.

"You're pushing it, Detective," he warned.

"So where'd ya stash the demon dress?" the teenager questioned. The demon found it rather annoying.

"It's _not_ a dress, and it'll be where it is when I go back to go get it."

"So why don't you tell me why you came here already? Your pissitivity is really pissing _me_ off," Yusuke informed him. "You interrupted a perfectly good show!"

"First of all, pissitivity isn't even a _word_," Hiei rebutted. "Secondly, it's quite obvious that you're watching foreign pornographic videos. I would hardly call that quality television."

"Yeah, because you dig guys. Guys like Kurama," the boy taunted back. He contemplated bringing up the fact that Hiei had more knowledge about human TVs than he should have admitted to having, but figured that jab would do for now.

"Shut up! I do _not_ like Kurama!" Hiei screamed angrily at him. He vowed that someday he _would_ prove it. Getting back to the point, he added, "And I came here because Koenma said that I had to! So go find that stupid Spirit World device of yours and ask him why I had to torture myself with your presence."

Yusuke blanked out, or so Hiei had thought for that fleeting moment. He followed Yusuke's gaze and landed on the very interesting scene on the television. His crimson eyes slowly changed from a scowl to the same relaxed yet blankly surprised expression that the detective had on his face.

"Wow…" Yusuke uttered, blinking in disbelief.

"How'd she do that…?" Hiei murmured.

"Seems painful…"

"Doesn't seem like it to her…or her…or her…"

The two continued to stare at the action of the video in a dazed state. As the scene reached its climax, Hiei suddenly growled quite loudly and ripped the plug out of the wall.

"Hey! What the hell! We were watching that!" Yusuke protested. His angry eyebrows soon changed shape, as he was holding back a giggle when he thought of how he was just watching _porn_ with _Hiei_ of all people.

"Go talk to Koenma! _Now_!" the black-haired demon demanded.

* * *

_"Well, I was going to keep Hiei out of this, but seeing as he decided to commit a crime today, I'll have to change that order of business."_

"I'm sure he'll be thrilled, now get to the damn point!" Yusuke prodded Koenma.

_"Just keep an eye out for that guy, that's all!"_ Koenma obliged.

"You made Hiei come to my apartment in disguise…" Yusuke paused a moment and sat down in his bed, "just for him to tell me to call _you_ up, only to have you say, 'Look out for this demon guy on your Spirit World Radar! His threat is very low!'?"

_"To be honest, I only told Hiei to come in disguise because I bet that blue ogre that Hiei was a couple with Kurama. I figured that he would run to Kurama for help, but instead he stole clothing from a store and hissed at a baby just for fun on his way out of it."_

"Yeah, I thought he would've done that too, but he keeps denying it and tried choking me when I said something."

For once, the boss and employee laughed about something together for a while. Hiei poked his head in the bedroom, wondering what was so hilarious, and it was then that Koenma told Yusuke to let Hiei hear his decree.

_"Hiei, in light of your recent activities, you're being confined to Yusuke's building. You know what happens if you disobey."_ The elderly toddler smiled wickedly from behind his blue pacifier and ended the transmission with, _"Koenma out. Word."_

Not baffled even the slightest by Koenma's strange choice of words, Yusuke desperately tried to contact the baby again to rebel against the decision. It was like _he_ was being punished as well. His actions were to no avail. He slammed the communicator into the floor and plopped back on his bed, his feet still planted firmly on the floor.

Yusuke explained the entire conversation to Hiei, which only enraged him even more. In the fit of rage, Hiei 'tossed' (or so he claims) a table lamp 'gently' at the wall, which not only resulted in a mess of shattered ceramic glass, but a heavy blow from Yusuke's fist.

"And here I was, about to let you sleep in my bed for the first night, and you go ahead and break a lamp!" Yusuke screamed.

"I don't sleep," Hiei informed the shouting boy.

"Yeah, right, and all you eat or drink is black coffee…" Yusuke replied sarcastically. Hiei just blinked at him as if he had just stated a fact. Oh, Yusuke would show _him_ who doesn't sleep. The bad-ass image of Hiei was going to stop here if he had to stay with him from now on. There was _no way_ that he never slept or ate anything. He wasn't a super-demon…okay, he _was_, but still.

"Fine, maybe I'll make some _coffee_ then," the boy said as he rose from the bed. Hiei's body jumped up from the spring of the mattress, catching him off-guard. Yusuke tossed him a random manga from his floor and said, "Here, this should keep you busy." The demon regarded the book with disinterest, but Yusuke didn't seem to care since he had already left the room.

He lit up another cigarette and began sifting through the drawers, searching for an anti-histamine. He found instant decaffeinated coffee and decided that he would break open the pill and mix it in with the freeze-dried coffee.

* * *

An empty coffee mug lay on the nightstand next to Yusuke's bed. It was nearing eleven. Yusuke came back into his room after spending a few hours by himself, and was surprised to find Hiei still there reading manga.

"I'm going to bed, so do whatever," he announced to the demon.

"I will do _whatever_, once I finish this book," Hiei said curtly.

"Well, do ya mind getting up so I can get under my blankets?" Yusuke suggested, "Or how about moving to the couch?"

"I'm not tired," he replied, lifting himself up quickly as Yusuke tugged at the blankets. He sat back down once Yusuke was under the covers.

"Huh? I didn't say that you…" Yusuke trailed off as he watched Hiei fall sideways into the mattress, "were tired…" He propped himself up on his elbow and rolled Hiei over. He was out cold, sleeping peacefully. He considered picking the guy up and tossing him out the window for fun, but decided on a much more devious plan.

After all, since Hiei _had_ fallen asleep on Yusuke's _bed_, the detective decided that his plan simply couldn't end at the beginning of the demon's slumber. With a wicked grin on his face, Yusuke rolled Hiei back over and pulled the blankets over both of them. Now they were both in the bed, sleeping with their backs to each other, and at the furthest reaches of the somewhat small mattress. Hey, Yusuke wanted to be mischievous, not suicidal.

* * *

Such a strange dream for the boy. His eyelids fluttered a bit, but he never opened them. He was wondering _what_ exactly woke him up. Maybe it was the temperature…yes, that's it. He was warm. He tried to move his arm out from under the pillow, but it was no use. His arm was either numb, or underneath something heavier than a pillow. It was then that he realized what was going on. His trapped arm wasn't the only strange thing about the situation…

Said arm was not only beneath a pillow, but beneath Hiei's head. Said head was planted comfortably in the nape of Yusuke's neck. Said detective had his other arm laying conveniently around Hiei's waist, and said demon had interlocked his legs with him, leaving his palms pressed against the human's chest. Said devious plan was a disastrous failure.

"So adorable! Even if it is a bit bizarre." A camera clicked, and Yusuke stirred, opening his eyelids fully.

"Botan, what the hell! Why did you put us like this? Hiei's going to kill us both!" the boy quietly scolded the blue-haired apparition, who was floating over the bed on a wooden oar.

"Hey! I just took a picture because I thought that it was cute!" she defended. Well, the alternate reason was for blackmail in case either of the hotheaded beings felt like being a pain, but she didn't exactly offer up that information to Yusuke. She continued, "You two were like this when I got here, which, by the way, I should probably get to the point before Hiei wakes up."

"Damn it," Yusuke cursed under his breath, "if I don't move, Hiei's going to kill me. If I do move, Hiei will wake up and see this anyway and still try to kill me!" He growled silently in his head. If there wasn't proof of it before, there was proof now. The Universe truly was playing one ironic trick on him after another. Or it could just be his karma.

"Shut up and listen!"

"Okay already!"

"First off, Kurama inadvertently defeated that demon, so you're off the case as it's been closed," Botan announced. "Second, Koenma wanted me to warn you that he suspects Hiei suffers from insomnia, anorexia, depression, and uhhm…what was the other one…"

"Fire up his ass?" Yusuke libbed.

"No! That would be the result of these problems, Yusuke! It was…um…oh forget it, I can't remember!" She tossed her ponytail to the opposite side and wagged a finger to the person below her. "Just a few facts for you to know! Just don't tell Hiei!"

"How the hell does baby breath know all of that?"

"He knows almost everything! I mean seriously…how _do_ you think we got all of that information on _you_ when you stupidly went and got yourself killed?" Botan reminded him. Before Yusuke could open his 'big mouth' (or so she thought), she said, "Well, I'm leaving now before I get caught up in this mess!" She floated out of the seemingly open window, but paused and mentioned, "And I won't tell anyone, I promise!" Yusuke just rolled his eyes, wondering if Botan truly would be able to her own big mouth shut.

He also wondered if doors were out of style.

He was still faced with a problem, though. To move, or not to move? How about playing it somewhat safe, and pretending to be asleep? Yes, that would eliminate part of the problem. He put that plan into action, trying his hardest to "sleep," even though random strange thoughts were beginning to run through his head at blinding speeds (such high speeds that he was unable to even keep up with their after-image…).

Much to Yusuke's surprise (which he didn't express of course, in case the Jagan eye was wide-awake), Hiei stirred, but did not go on a murderous rampage. Before fully awakening, the demon gripped tight on to what he thought was blankets, but ended up being Yusuke's shirt. He quickly let go and opened his normal eyes fully. The detective felt Hiei tense up underneath his arm, then slowly push that arm off of him and sit up on the bed. The shift of weight was very minor, to Yusuke it felt like a kitten had just jumped on the mattress.

"Get up," Hiei uttered in a low voice. He was still seated on the edge of the covers. Yusuke didn't budge, he had to be believable after all.

"Stupid Yusuke…" the well-rested demon muttered. He turned a few degrees and poked the boy in the arm, demanding, "Wake up!"

Out of habit rather than acting skills, the teenager mumbled, "I'm not going to school, Mom…"

"I didn't say that you had to go to school, you lazy lump!" Hiei shouted, springing to his knuckles and knees and lurching over Yusuke, ready to strangle him. Yusuke tried his hardest not to giggle, after all, Hiei _had_ accidentally implied that he was playing Mommy. Hiei on the other hand, was annoyed at the boy, so he leaned in real close and stated, "If you don't wake up, I'm going to kill you."

Not only did the threat scare him, but also the insane closeness of the absolutely malevolent voice which asserted the threat did. Yusuke shifted, making Hiei sit back on his knees. The detective murmured, "Damn, Hiei. Dead people don't wake up either."

"I wasn't really going to kill you, idiot," Hiei answered. "I want an answer as to why I woke up in your bed this morning."

"Well, in case you don't remember," the boy stated, gathering things to shower and bathe with, "you conked out in the middle of reading a manga."

"I remember, you don't have to remind me," Hiei said with a glare.

"Then you asked a stupid question." Hiei scowled at him again, which only reminded Yusuke of his plan. He remarked, "But I guess to pass out like that means you really _do_ need sleep. I mean, it seems like you hadn't slept nice like that in a while…" _Oh shoot_, he thought. He probably wasn't supposed to hint that he knew about the insomnia. Or that he even thought the rest was _nice_.

"Fine, Detective. So you got me there," the demon admitted, "but that doesn't explain why I woke up in your arms this morning." It shocked the boy that the demon had so willingly brought up the question. Or perhaps it wasn't willingly. Hiei actually seemed to blush after he said so, but of course, the shorter one had to maintain his tough persona at all times.

"We fell asleep at opposite sides of the bed, Hiei. I have no idea what you're talking about," Yusuke informed him. Well, at least that was _partially_ true.

"Then _you_ must have moved in your sleep." Oh? Just Yusuke moved to the center of the bed? He'd show him.

"Yes, that _must_ be it, Hiei. I moved to the absolute _center _of the bed, from the absolute _edge_. Somehow, you ended up in the center too," Yusuke deduced (he was a detective, see). "It must be because you're too damn skinny and my weight caused you to roll conveniently into a nuzzling position. Oh yes…" Yusuke followed the statement with a roll of his eyes. "That must have been it."

"Yes," Hiei blinked, "that must be the answer." Hiei stood from the bed and growled, "And there is nothing wrong with being skinny! You're skinny!"

"I'm _fit_ without fat, Hiei. You're a skeleton with top heavy muscles. Eat a fricken meal!"

"I don't need to eat!" Hiei shouted back.

"Well that's too bad! Because I'm going to make breakfast before I shower, and I'm going to stuff it down your throat!" Yusuke screamed.

"_GOOD because I'M hungry!_" Hiei finished. Yusuke just twitched an eyebrow at the crazy demon. Actually, it was more like a complete face spasm followed up by him slamming his bathing items to the floor and stamping out of the bedroom. A clash of pots and pans was heard from the kitchenette, and Hiei poked his head out to see Yusuke breaking eggs open into a frying pan.

The human boy pointed over to his door and yelled, "You _better_ like eggs, because that's all we've got!" His arms then furiously shuffled through the various cupboards, looking for salt and pepper.

Hiei did not answer. Instead, he inquired, "Where's the pond?" After all, he would have to know where everything was if he was confined to a small square that he could only move vertically in. Disobeying Koenma wasn't on his list of things to do…yet. He just wasn't ready for _those_ consequences!

Yusuke almost mis-rolled an egg at the question. What on earth was that demon thinking? He made a funny face, signaling that the short demon should elaborate.

"A pond. To bathe in."

Yusuke's face twitched again. He secretly cursed Hiei, as he was probably going to cause the boy to have old man wrinkles at the age of twenty. Had he or had he not just mentioned that he himself was going to shower?

"We have showers and bath tubs, Hiei."

"Fine. Where is it." He wasn't going waste his time much longer with questions. He just wanted to get the stench of human off of him, or at least pretend that was what it was.

"You have to eat first or it will be cold," Yusuke said in the middle of serving the breakfast on a small dining table. The agitated demon showed no emotion or thanks for the food, and the two ate in silence. He could swear that Hiei was actually _enjoying _the eggs, but Yusuke figured that mentioning that would be a big waste of time.

After the meal, Yusuke insisted that he shower first. He was afraid that if Hiei went first, something would go terribly wrong and the pipes would leak all over the place. So the boy washed up as Hiei completed the manga he was into last night (though human stories were so pathetic and inaccurate, he told the detective).

Hiei went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Ten minutes passed, and Yusuke didn't hear a sound of running water. He went to the toilet room and flushed it (to check if the water was working, and to piss Hiei off if indeed it _was_ and he was just hard of hearing), and the clear water swirled down the porcelain hole.

Yusuke knocked on bathroom door. "Hiei?"

"What?" Hiei replied coldly, opening the door. He was still in his jeans and sweater.

"What do you mean, what? I thought you were going to wash up!"

"Hn. There is no water." Stupid detective.

Was Hiei for real? His whacked knowledge of technology really astounded the boy. He pushed past Hiei and pointed to silver knobs on the wall, and said, "You turn these, and you can change the water from hot to cold." He watched as Hiei went over and turned the knob, unaware of the fact that he was standing _directly_ under the top showerhead, and got soaking wet. Yusuke quickly turned it off, and remarked, "Not like that!"

"You didn't say that it was going to spray like that!" the ever-so-embarrassed and flushed Hiei retorted.

"Whatever. That's how it works. And you can use that stuff on the shelf to wash your hair and the soap too."

"Hn. Get out now."

"What are you going to wear when you're done?" Yusuke asked inquisitively.

"This, fool."

"Yes, get all dried up with a towel and then change into a perfectly good pair of wet and sweaty clothes…"

"Fine. I'll wear my cloak," Hiei rebutted.

"Oh, yes," Yusuke said with a sarcastic swing in his voice. "I'll warm up the water for you while you go get your _cloak_, Hiei."

Hiei grumbled, "Well I'm sure that _you'll _be able to find _something_." Yusuke grumbled back at him, wondering when he suddenly became Hiei's personal servant. He left the bathroom and searched through his closet for something that _might_ fit the demon.

It was then that he had the wonderfully bright idea of going into his mother's closet. No, he wasn't going to go as far as to make Hiei wear women's clothing (not that there's anything wrong with that), but he was certain that he could find some of his clothes from when he was younger. His mother may be a drunkard who disappeared now and then, but she tended to save _everything_, and he knew that she had recovered some of the clothes from apartment fire when he was technically dead. He found the wooden chest of the clothing, and pulled out everything that didn't look childish. Plain colored tees, two seemingly nice pairs of jeans, and even a black hooded sweatshirt.

Underneath all of the clothing, he found a wrapped present that said "Happy 11th Birthday! Love, Mom" on it. He shrugged, then tore it open to find a brand new pair of pajamas, which of course would no longer fit him. He smiled, happy to know that his mother cared about him, then examined the pajamas. They were dark blue with small black embroidery, but still very masculine. He tucked the gift back into the chest and brought the clothing into his own room. He snatched a light cerulean tee and a pair of jeans, then knocked on the bathroom door (which he actually heard water running behind).

"What now?" Hiei scowled, muffled by the door and the running water.

"I got you your stupid clothes!" Yusuke shouted back. A squeaking of knobs was heard, and the water quickly turned from a rush, to a steady drip, to nothing at all. The door was opened, and a small wrapped wrist poked through the opening. Yusuke handed off the apparel and walked away to plug the television back in. He _did _have to watch as many of the videos as he could before his mother magically appeared home again.

_To Be Continued..._

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_Author's Note_

In the middle of writing Alternate Universe, I wanted to suddenly make it Hiei-Yusuke. Instead I opted for this. I have no idea why I've been on such a shounen-ai/yaoi spree lately, seeing as my first ever story was f-m and not even a romance. Who knows.

This was spurred by one of the many conversations on anime that I have with my sister. We always wonder the weirdest things, like "Does Hiei ask Kurama to do his laundry? Does Kurama's mom ever wonder where all the bloodstains come from? Where does Kurama buy all of his chupas and panel coats? Does Kurama get grounded for disappearing? Does Hiei steal food to eat? Why doesn't Kurama wear socks?" and etc.

Thanks to my mom for word "pissitivity". She once used it to describe me. I found it quite hilarious.

-Zelia Theb


	2. Zap!

**-- This Chapter updated 9-1-2008 --**

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**Huminshou**

By Zelia Theb

Disclaimer: _Yu Yu Hakusho_ is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.

* * *

The detective was returning home after a long day at school. Despite what his mother, his childhood friend Keiko, and various faculty at the school said, he thought that his ability to even _go_ to school in between his save-the-world missions was amazing, if not, remarkable. Hey, at least the rest of his team understood, even though the redhead Kurama felt the need to rub in his excellent grades from time to time.

On his way home, he picked up one of his teammates, his good friend Kazuma Kuwabara, as he rounded one of the final corners on the way to his apartment building. The tall orange-haired kid rambled on about various funny instances that occurred during the day, all of which made Yusuke laugh. The boy invited Kuwabara inside, excited to show him some new videos. After listening to a long and quite drawn out speech about how he had to be faithful to Yukina, the honorable oaf hesitantly agreed to accompany the shorter boy.

Yusuke and his friend entered the apartment to find that it was rather clean and tidy. The thought of Hiei walking around his place in an apron made him laugh, but then made him oddly curious for reasons that only the detective's subconscious only knew.

"Dear Yusuke. I bought groceries, please put the rest away. Go to school tomorrow. I'm taking a trip with a friend of mine, be back in two days. Love, Mom," Kuwabara said. It was a note that was taped to the refrigerator. An idea popped into his head, and he said, "Hey, we could have a party!"

Yusuke rolled his eyes at his friend, asking, "Yeah, and _who _would we invite? Get serious, man." He walked over to the remaining two brown paper bags that were left on the counter and started to put the goods away. Out of instinct, Kuwabara offered to help and the groceries were put away quickly.

Yusuke snatched two somewhat cold cans of pop from the fridge and tossed one to his friend before seating himself on the couch, ready to watch more videos. After the first two minutes of the tape, Kuwabara began to feel a tickle, not brought on by the naughty actions, but his extra sensory perception.

"Man, there's something here, Urameshi," he uttered. His hand came up to his well chiseled face and rubbed the end of his chin. "It sort of feels like my dear sweet Yukina, but like, her evil sister, or something." Yusuke was astounded at Kuwabara's own detective abilities. The connection was right there in front of him, yet the kid couldn't fit the square block into the square hole. It was like he was trying to stuff the blocks into an entirely different toy.

"Don't worry about it," Yusuke said, trying to keep his attention on the two blonde girls in the program.

"No, no…there's definitely something here!" the taller one argued. "In fact…hey…I think I know this energy!" The other boy smacked his forehead as Kuwabara continued, "It's Hiei! Hiei's here, somewhere. But why the heck is shrimpy hanging around? I mean, he's got the whole city and stuff…" Yusuke sighed, and on cue, the window opened and Hiei flew into the room.

"You," the demon pointed to Yusuke, "fight me on the roof. Now."

A pair of chocolate colored eyes was on the floor at the foot of the sofa, after having popped out of the detective's head. Okay, not really, but Yusuke was pretty damn surprised. His face twitched again, and he asked, "What? Can't you see that I'm busy here? I don't have time to train with you!"

"Yeah! Busy! Buzz off!" Kuwabara chimed in. After staring angrily at his comrade, his eyebrows shifted up and he burst out laughing, just as Yusuke had done the day before. After an ensuing argument and explanation as to _why_ Hiei was in Yusuke's building, dressed like a human, Kuwabara sank back into the couch and tried to catch up on the plotless theme of the video.

"I bet you're wishin' that it had been Kurama's building that you were confined to, huh," Kuwabara joked.

"Shut up! I wish it were _no_ building!" Hiei spat back.

"Yeah right," the tallest teased, "it'd give you an excuse to be with your honey and…" Kuwabara finished the sentence by making a few kiss noises. He followed it up with a laugh, which was muffled due to the stranglehold that Hiei had on his large neck.

"_I do not like Kurama!_" Hiei shouted over and over again, in rhythm with the shaking motion he was doing to Kuwabara.

Yusuke pried them apart, not because Kuwabara was blue and about to die, but because he felt the need to hear the various moans and curse words coming from the TV. He stated, "No, you moron. He gave him to me because if he was with Kurama, they could probably plot something together." Kuwabara was too busy recovering oxygen to respond. "And as you can see, he'd have killed you and escaped if he was under _your_ watch."

"I guess you take me for some sort of traitor, Detective," Hiei said coldly. He always wanted his allies to fear him, but now that he knew it lead to mistrust, it _hurt_ him.

"That isn't what I meant…" Yusuke was interrupted as Hiei slammed the door to the boy's bedroom behind him.

"Wow, his pissitivity is through the roof, no pun intended," Kuwabara remarked.

Yusuke growled, balling up his fists, then yelled, "Pissitivity isn't even a word!"

"Well, he's stuck here, so we should probably be nice to him!"

"You're one to talk, idiot! You were the one to start teasing him in the first place!"

"Well, fine! Let's call Kurama and get 'im over here," Kuwabara suggested, reaching for the phone, which was placed on an end table nearby. "That should make him feel better."

"You know, I'm really starting to think that maybe Hiei _doesn't_ like Kurama," Yusuke commented. "Well, not like _that_ anyway. But I guess some demon company could make him feel better…" He was hushed by Kuwabara, who held his finger to his lips as a signal. He was already in conversation with the demon on the other end of the line.

"Hey," Yusuke interjected after a quick thought, "how the hell do you know Kurama's phone number?" Kuwabara waved his hand, but that made Yusuke angry. He snided, "Maybe_ you're_ the one who likes Kurama."

"Hey, shut up, Urameshi! I memorize everyone's phone numbers! And their birthdays!" He uncovered his hand from the phone, and said ,"Sorry Kurama. Urameshi was being a jackass." After intently listening to his ally's remark, he laughed back, "Haha! Yeah, I know! He is." The detective twitched an eyebrow, making a mental note to kill Kurama when he got there.

* * *

"Get more," Hiei demanded, setting the last manga he read on top of his "read" pile. He had managed to fly through all of the comics in Yusuke's possession.

"I don't have money, otherwise I would have _gotten_ more," Yusuke informed him.

"Well how the hell am I supposed to know what happens?" he yelled back at a volume that was a little too loud for the time of night.

"Well, you _could_ turn on that dusty TV over there and find out. They _did_ make it into a show, you know, and I think it's on right now." Yusuke pointed to a small television set sitting on top of a dresser. He rarely used it, because it was black and white, and also because he had no video cassette drive in his room. Without thinking of how it would look, Hiei actually listened to Yusuke and turned the television on.

"I'm going to bed, so keep it turned down," Yusuke announced, climbing under his covers (which weren't under the demon, because the boy had neglected to make his bed earlier that morning).

"How am I supposed to be comfortable!" Hiei snarled. After all, he wanted to lean back and rest his neck, which was hurting from leaning over and reading comics all night.

"You've slept in trees for how long?" Yusuke retorted. "Just lay down and use a pillow. It's not a big deal."

"I don't think so. I'm not falling for that again," Hiei recalled. "I have no desire to awaken in a compromising position tomorrow."

"Oh. So you admit that you want to sleep tonight," Yusuke said, turning to face his back to the screen. "That's funny. So fine, don't lay down. There is another TV in the place, ya know." He shifted uncomfortably; his jeans were cutting off circulation in his legs. He shuffled out of bed and said, "Sorry buddy, but I can't sleep in jeans for another night. So you better decide whether or not you want to sleep on the couch or on the roof." He removed his jeans, leaving him just in a white tee and blue boxer shorts, then crawled back into bed.

"The roof is stony," Hiei complained. At least the bark of trees was consistent and far flatter. Not that the detective would understand the difference; he's slept in luxury for most of his life.

"So sleep on the couch," Yusuke murmured drowsily.

"It's cold out there."

"Want some cheese with that whine?" Yusuke remarked, using the old cliché.

"Hn."

"Quit your complainin' and just lay down already, jeez!" He felt Hiei's weight move and figured that the demon must have finally given in and decided to watch the show comfortably. Soon after, both of them fell asleep, once again, at opposite edges of the bed.

* * *

It was early. Early in the afternoon, that is. Kuwabara was failing peacefully at school, while Yusuke still had his lazy butt in bed. In bed with Hiei. The TV's volume was rather low, and the various commercials for talk shows were flashing on the screen.

The boy and the demon were laying in the same fashion as the previous morning, only this time, their hands were tightly gripping onto the bare skin of the other's back, having snuck under the hem of their tee shirts. The blankets were placed snuggly over them, reaching up to the base of Hiei's neck.

In unison with a rather loud commercial (the type that the producers purposely fail to adjust the audio levels on just to grab attention or wake someone up), the two lazily opened their eyes. The laziness was overcome when they realized whose eyes they ended up staring into. This was followed by a series of hand movements, trying to understand their surroundings.

Although he could never say it, Yusuke found Hiei's skin to be unnaturally smooth. He wondered if the real reason Hiei enjoyed a good tree nap was due to how the bark exfoliated his skin. Due to Hiei's closed up and shielded nature, he could never tell Yusuke how comfortable he was, or how nice the touch of his fingers had felt. It wasn't as if either of them _liked_ the other, they figured. Yusuke had never even known that such smooth skin could even exist on a _woman_, much less _Hiei_. Hiei had never had anyone touch him, ever, except for during battle, or after battle when he had to be carried. It was shocking for both of them.

Hiei opened his mouth to inquire for a reason, but Yusuke quickly hopped out of the bed and declared, "I'm taking a shower!"

"I've got stones all wrong," Hiei muttered in response. "Stones are wonderful. I think I'll go to the roof now." The black-haired demon blinked his red eyes in disbelief, then leapt out of bed and right out the window.

* * *

It's been three strange days and two even stranger nights since Yusuke last saw Hiei. He had even gone looking for him once, and thought that he would find him, but he didn't. He knew that it was hard on the demon to be confined to such a small area, and even worse to be so severely punished for a crime that Yusuke probably committed almost every week, if not every other day. The boy hoped that Hiei had not done something stupid that would extend his probation; he had put in a lot of effort and done things out of character just to return home. It would be a waste.

The confused human boy pondered this as he lay in bed, among other thoughts, well into the night. As his eyelids finally began to close, he heard the door to his apartment open. A moment later, small trickles of water were heard, because someone had turned the shower on. He sighed when he realized that his mother had just come home, then rested his eyelids once again. He was angry, because that little disturbance had delayed his sleep longer.

He turned over and rested on his back, listening to his mother move about the apartment. She went into her room and shuffled through her closet. Then she came over to his room, and soon Yusuke found that his door had opened and shut. He supposed that she had just decided to check and see that he was home and not out following her bad example. He flipped again, and due to the movement of his own body weight, he was unaware that another person had sat on the edge of his bed.

Yusuke was poked in the shoulder (which was bare; he was back to sleeping in just a pair of socks and boxers since no one would be with him), and the action startled him. He jumped slightly and opened his eyes to see that Hiei was planted on the edge of the sheets and staring at him.

"That was you making all that noise?" Yusuke questioned the demon.

"You were supposed to get up and find me clothes," Hiei told him. Who did the detective think that he was, anyway? His mother? Any brave human would have gotten up to check who was rummaging through their house and using their shower. He winced when he realized that a thief or any other intruder would not wash up at their victim's home.

Yusuke's eyes finally adjusted to the dark, and he saw the fine curves and outlines of Hiei's chest. He gasped when he discovered that Hiei was just wrapped in a towel, but then noticed that he had something in his hand. It was the pajamas that he had found a few days ago.

"You're…naked…" the boy stammered. "You…can wear those if you want to." He knew that Hiei wouldn't ask; he never asked for anything.

"They're from your mother," Hiei remarked. That was his way of saying, "Are you sure? Your mom gave them to you as a gift. I couldn't possibly take something that is an obvious treasure."

"You can have them," Yusuke murmured, lowering himself back into the cushion. He was extremely tired and could barely hold his conversation with Hiei. He felt a slight breeze and heard the towel fall to the ground with a small thud. The next thing he knew, Hiei was poking him in the shoulder again. Yusuke opened his eyes and asked, "What?" Hiei did not answer with words, but with a blank stare. The detective noticed how haggard the demon's eyes looked. It was a clear sign of sleep deprivation. The poke was yet another Hiei-esque query. Yusuke answered by getting up and moving to his living room couch, or so he thought. He had every intention of getting up, really, he did. He just didn't muster up the energy to do so.

* * *

Yusuke stirred the blueberries into the pancake mix. He was happy when he found the instant mix the other day; it wasn't often that he ate foreign food. The boy secretly wished that Hiei would be able to swallow it; he was going all out while he had the food. Pancakes, eggs, toast, and even bacon (again, another surprise for him due to its price).

He couldn't bring himself to admit it, but he had stayed in bed for several minutes after actually waking up, just staring at the demon. Yusuke tried to convince himself that it was a result of the comfort, but he failed. Hiei was vulnerable, a seemingly innocent and content expression was on his face, and that smooth skin seemed so soft and touchable. He stirred faster as he argued with himself, mad that he could even think for a _second_ that he was attracted to Hiei. He stopped his furious mixing when the mix appeared to be too blue.

Hiei woke up to the pleasing smell of cooking meat, and because the warmth of Yusuke's body had finally dissipated from the bed sheets. He wasn't expecting the bed to actually be empty, though he was glad that he didn't have to face the awkward situation himself. He couldn't quite explain _why_, but for some reason the leisure and warmth allowed him to rest peacefully. He actually felt stronger because of it, and a lot less _grumpy_. Not that he was ever grumpy to begin with.

"What is that?" he inquired, emerging from Yusuke's bedroom. Hiei found himself salivating from the salty smell of the fried meat.

"That's prolly the bacon," the detective answered. Breakfast was done, aside from the toast (because he had popped the lever down a bit late), and he served it.

Much to his surprise (and delight), Yusuke noticed his demon ally had cleared his pancakes rather swiftly. They ate on, in silence of course, because Hiei had disregarded Yusuke's query on the quality of his creation. When they were just about finished, the detective wondered what had happened to the toast. Hiei was irritated by the smell of the burning bread, and walked over to the toaster to investigate.

"There is food stuck in there," the shorter one announced.

"Yes, that's pretty obvious, Hiei," Yusuke sarcastically remarked. "Now hang on…" He searched for the plug to the toaster, but Hiei had already gripped a fork from the table. Before Yusuke could protest the action, Hiei used the utensil to pry the burnt toast out from the clutches of the toaster.

"Ahh!" he yelped as he was electrocuted. His hair stood on end, which no one but he could notice anyway. Yusuke quickly ripped the plug out of the wall, and Hiei released the fork from his grip.

The boy wanted to laugh, but he couldn't. Instead he ran dangerously close and even snatched the victimized hand, asking, "Are you all right, bud?" The hand was roughly pulled away, accompanied by a blush from the demon, and a reply of his usual snort.

"I'm bored," Hiei stated monotonously. He wanted to get out and train, he wanted to fight. He was actually praying that some demon would start trouble and that Koenma would need them all for a case.

Yusuke was thinking the same thing. He picked up his communicator and within seconds, Botan's giddy face appeared. She informed him that there was nothing _yet_, but she would try and find something for them to do. Before ending the transmission, she flashed the photograph of he and Hiei together in bed, then winked and cut the line.

He had actually thought that they looked cute together. He let out a strange scoffing noise at his use of the word 'cute' in his head. Hiei fixated a confused look at him, which only made Yusuke more uncomfortable. The Universe had decided its next evil trick would be to make Yusuke become attracted to Hiei.

It was _Hiei_. Evil, 'once' psychotic and bent on world domination Hiei. Mister 'I can kill you with thirty swings of my sword in less than a second' Hiei. Strangely young looking but probably older than the oldest man in the world Hiei. The demon Hiei. The _guy_ Hiei. Only a few days ago he had made fun of the demon for such a thing, and he wondered why. It never bothered him, really. Yusuke had always just preferred females, _or had he?_ He did think that Kurama was pretty hot when he first saw him, but then again, he had also thought that he was a girl.

He was too confused. Maybe Kuwabara had the right idea a few days ago; party! There was no school today or tomorrow, not that it mattered much to him. Hiei stood by and watched as Yusuke went from a state of deep thought to excitement. The detective called up everyone; Kurama, Keiko, Kuwabara; he even told Kuwabara to bring his friends and sister. He was so bored that he picked up the communicator again and invited Botan, who was for some reason, more than happy to attend.

He hoped that the Grim Reaper had no intentions on revealing that picture.

"What are you up to?" Hiei inquired. His rear end was planted firmly on one of the windowsills in the room.

"A party. I'm bored, you're bored, easy solution," Yusuke answered. The boy couldn't help himself, he just had to steal a glance at Hiei. He noticed that he was still in the pajamas, and said, "You should probably change."

"Who said that I care, Detective?" Hiei glowered at him from his perch. "I don't like parties."

"Well, what the hell else are you going to do?!" Yusuke yelled, causing Hiei to jump and fall from the sill. He was insulted, it wasn't as if he wanted Hiei to be bored out of his mind.

"Fine," Hiei muttered as he stomped off to the bedroom to change. He came back out wearing the black sweatshirt and yet another pair of jeans.

* * *

"I'm thirsty," Hiei whined. He and Yusuke were sitting lazily on the couch, each battling their own personal demons.

"Still?" Yusuke asked. The black-haired demon had just finished his second can.

"…Yes."

"So go get another pop," Yusuke suggested. He wondered if, and when, Hiei would use the bathroom. He hoped that demons weren't all that different and that his toilet wouldn't be melted. That much pop though, the sugar and caffeine alone could melt the porcelain.

Hiei sat back down, cracking open his third can. Yusuke chuckled, happy that Hiei had finally learned how to do it himself. The first time, the demon thought that his sword could open it up. That's why the kitchen floor had to be cleaned an hour ago. His actual first can Yusuke opened for him. The second serving, Hiei opened it, but the metal tab fell in and he nearly choked on it. Well, they say that the technical third time's a charm.

The boy's brown eyes went wide. He absolutely knew that Hiei would be the end of his boyishly good looks and perfect skin. This entire time, Hiei had been drinking his mother's _beer_, not the soda. His face contorted as he thought of Hiei being drunk. He just hoped that he and Kurama would be able to fend off the Darkness Flame. He would have wet himself right there if he had as much to drink as Hiei did.

"Um, Hiei," Yusuke interjected mid-thought, "that's not pop." It was no wonder that the demon had complained of the taste when he swallowed his first sip.

"What are you blabbering about?" Hiei asked. Of course it was pop! It was in the same kind of can that Yusuke had. Or was it…?

"Um…have you ever had alcohol before?" the teen queried, hoping that Hiei _did_ in fact have some sort of tolerance built up.

"No." Oh, wonderful. "I'll be fine." Hiei smirked wickedly then added, "Just give me pop next time."

Doors came back in style, as a series of whispers only belonging to his friends came with the knocking noise that just emanated from the door. Yusuke got up and greeted his friends; everyone had come, but Kuwabara's friends from school weren't able to make it.

"I see that you're looking well, as usual, Yusuke," Kurama said as everyone else dispersed into the room. His emerald eyes had quite a devilish glint in them, one that Yusuke could only assume was part of the fox-demon's 'charming good looks.'

"And you're looking…" He struggled to find something that didn't sound gay. Kurama was dressed out of the ordinary. A tight black sweater and tight black pants.

"I'm looking at you," Kurama smirked, finishing Yusuke's sentence.

"Uhh…" the other boy stuttered, "I was going to say bleak and artistic." He ruffled his hair nervously, not really caring if it came out of its slicked back position. He could _swear_ that the redhead was hitting on him.

"If you think that _this_ is artistic…" Yusuke gulped. "Then perhaps I have some things to show you _later_." Maybe it was mating season for foxes. Yes, that was it. So why the heck wasn't Kurama flirting with the girls?

And aren't Kurama and Hiei together?

Yusuke felt his eyes tear up in fear. If that _was_ true, he not only had Kurama flirting with him in front of everyone, but the possibility of having a very drunk and _jealous_ Hiei to deal with was skyrocketing (and his pissitivity was already through the roof, as Kuwabara had so geniously noted earlier that week).

"Um, yeah, later. Show me later, yeah," Yusuke struggled with his words again, tiptoeing away as he spoke. "I'm going to go…throw on a movie, or something." Keiko cast a cheerful glance his way, which scared him even more. If he thought that a mental Hiei was bad, he couldn't even fathom the idea of a jealous girl, let alone Keiko. Then again, if the girl had decided to give Yusuke some sort of physical affection at all, then maybe he wouldn't be in this sort of mess.

_To Be Continued..._

* * *

_Author's Note_

First and foremost, I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews. They made me try and get this chapter out as soon as I could (plus I have a ton of ideas of how this fic could go that need to get out of my head).

Second, I'm going to advertise for the author's and stories on my favorites lists. I'd have to say that there are three key authors between here and that inspired this story's style (though my writing quality pales in comparison to theirs): Lilias, Odango in Black, and Alteng.

Chapter 3 will be a continuation of the party, and possibly a mission to get it back into _YYH_ character.

-Zelia Theb


	3. Hah!

Warning: Alcohol use. Don't drink, and don't listen to Shizuru.

**-- This Chapter was updated 9-1-2008 --**

* * *

**Huminshou**

By Zelia Theb

Disclaimer: _Yu Yu Hakusho_ is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.

* * *

Yusuke cleared the coffee table of the empty cans, and noticed that he had picked up five cans from Hiei's 'spot.' The demon had moved, and was actually conversing with the others near the window (or in Hiei terms, actually tolerating the conversation going on around him). Yusuke sighed heavily, wondering when the impending doom for everyone was going to strike. He muttered, "Who keeps handing Hiei beer? He said he wanted pop from now on…" Shizuru, Kuwabara's fair-skinned brunette sister, ashed her cigarette in the tray Yusuke was in front of. She smirked at the boy, signaling that she might be up to no good.

"The kid's gotta lighten up. He's always shielding himself from everyone, so knocking back a few should ease him up," she stated indifferently. "It's the only reason that my baby bro's so hard on him all the time."

Yusuke angrily dropped the empty cans in the kitchen sink, then returned to the coffee table. He argued in a whisper, "Did you take a stupid pill or something? What if he's an angry drunk!"

"What's there to be angry about?" the elder Kuwabara asked.

"We're talkin' Hiei here," Yusuke answered. "What _isn't_ there to be angry about?"

"Nothing really," she remarked. "Baby bro's being pretty good since he found out about the situation. The only thing that could really bug him is the way that Kurama's been eyeing you all day." Yusuke swallowed hard; she had noticed? What else was this super-sensor aware of? She interrupted his thoughts, and added, "But don't worry about it. I don't think he's a mean guy deep down, and that's why I think that if he opens up, he'll be pretty cool to be around." That's two points on the 'Drug Hiei' scoreboard.

"Oh Yusuke!" Botan called from the congregation near the window, "Come here! I have to _show_ you something!" Shizuru quirked an eyebrow while observing Yusuke's face contort in fear as he slowly made his way to the group.

The happy girl told everyone to gather around, and she stuck her hand deep into the inside of her brown jacket, hesitating just enough to create suspense. A bead of nervous sweat rolled down the back of Yusuke's neck. She wouldn't dare reveal that picture in front of everyone, _especially Keiko_, for no good reason, would she? The girl pulled out four small silver discs which fit nicely in the palm of her hand.

"They're brand new communicators! Only smaller! Neat, isn't it?" she giggled, handing them to their respective new owners.

"Cool," Kuwabara stated, stuffing it into his pocket, "no more girly make-up thingy!"

"Thank you, Botan," Kurama said. "It's time for the old devices to go into retirement."

"Damn it, another stupid thing I have to carry around," Yusuke complained. "At least this thingy is smaller."

"Thanks Botan," Hiei remarked. The rest of his teammates were shocked; did Hiei just willingly thank someone? Another bead of sweat formed on Yusuke. Surely this was the beginning of the end!

"Oh!" Botan exclaimed, happy for the surprising thanks. "You're so welcome Hiei!" She patted him on the head, and he didn't exactly smile, but he didn't exactly cringe away or kill her either.

The detective was nudged hard in his ribs. He uttered a statement of pain, and turned to see Shizuru. She smiled cockily and said, "See what I mean?" He rubbed the sore spot on his side and gave her an evil side glare.

After the group broke apart into various different places, joking, teasing, and just talking amongst each other, Kuwabara convinced Yusuke to find a deck of cards so that they could play a game. He brought two new poker decks from his mother's room. The question of which table to play the game at was brought up.

"How about right here?" Kurama suggested, sitting down on the sofa behind the coffee table. Everyone nodded, and was ready to sit down. Kurama patted the space next to him and grinned, "This seat right here is empty, isn't it Yusuke?" Yusuke gulped again. That fox-demon was playing poker with Yusuke's life! He tried to resist, but Kurama flashed him a sad pair of green puppy-eyes (or in his case, kit-eyes). The brown-eyed boy reluctantly sat down on Kurama's left, leaving a foot of space between them.

That's of course, when Hiei's jealous side came out (though the demon wasn't coherent enough to reveal exactly what, rather, _who_ he was jealous of). He purposely placed his hind in that one foot space, fitting perfectly like a puzzle piece. He grinned evilly, then leaned _way_ too close to Kurama and noted, "You _did_ say that this spot was _empty_." Kurama's left eye wrinkled up, slightly agitated at the small demon. The heartbreaker redhead could swear that he heard the tallest of the bunch whisper something about a bet on the relationship between he and Hiei, but he shrugged it off.

Yusuke, on the other hand (literally, Hiei's other hand), was growing rather tense at the fact that his leg _and_ his hip were pressed next to Hiei's. What was worse was that he couldn't move, because Keiko squashed in, filling the last space. On top of that, or rather, Yusuke's leg, was Hiei's leg, because for some (alcohol-induced) reason, he had decided to sit cross-legged, gripping his ankles like handlebars on a bicycle. Well, the demon never _did_ like to have his legs dangling.

"Since we're playing with a double deck, let's play something like Hearts!" Kuwabara offered up. Being the honorable man that he was, he was seated on the floor, allowing Botan to take the chair. His sister was a different story, though she didn't really care all that much anyway.

"How about a good old game of poker?" Yusuke suggested. Poker faces would be the perfect way out of Shizuru's radar.

"Sure," said girl remarked, lighting a cigarette, "five card stud. I'll deal." She began shuffling the cards together like she had worked in a casino her entire life, playing a magician's assistant on the side.

"Stud?" Hiei perked up. "Is that the one where you bet your clothes?" Everyone giggled, not at the naïve nature of the statement, but because they genuinely thought that it was a joke.

"That's _strip_ poker, Hiei," Kurama reminded him. Out of male instinct, the four guys at the table instantly pictured what a fun game of poker _that_ could be. Of course Kuwabara was weary about his sister, but figured that she was too good to lose any clothing.

"That's risky," the demon shifted his eyes down to study his ankles. "Risk makes everything more fun." Yusuke choked on the air loudly. His foot was kicked under the table by Shizuru, who winked at him. He froze; she wasn't just rubbing her correct guess in, _she knew_!

"Let's just stick to this game," Keiko said with a slight laugh. Her face was pink due to her own private thoughts about Yusuke.

They set the rules; no money or clothing bets. The stakes were far more hilarious. In each round, the absolute loser had to accept a dare given by the winner. In the event of a tie, the winner had to give each of them the same dare. Shizuru was unclear about the consequences of not accepting a dare, but everyone in the room was certain that she would make sure that there would never be such a case, and they didn't want to test that theory out.

Kuwabara triumphantly won the first round. He dared Botan to eat a spoonful of dried rice mixed with ketchup. It wasn't all that disgusting, but he didn't exactly want to play evil with her either. The next round, Botan was the winner (how she made a miraculous comeback was between she and Shizuru), and Yusuke had lost. She tossed Yusuke a strange look that threatened to reveal 'the photograph' if he didn't comply with the dare. It was to kiss Keiko on the cheek, and he did quickly, inviting a pinkish hue to his friend's face, and spurring an 'Aww!' from both Kuwabara and Botan.

"Aw, come on!" Yusuke whined after seeing his hand in comparison with everyone else's. He had tied with Kurama, and the winner was the evil dealer.

She lit up another cigarette, and asserted, "I dare you two to go the rest of the night shirtless." Oh, she was certainly evil, and she loved every minute of it. She exhaled a satisfying cloud of smoke as she watched Kurama quickly remove his shirt and toss it neatly over the back of the couch. Naturally, she and the other two girls were ogling the flawless chest, but she had at least expected Hiei or Yusuke to look too, and they didn't. Yusuke, after sighing for what seemed like hours, finally followed suit (again, no poker pun intended) and took his own shirt off. Being a lot less tidy than Kurama, he just tossed it on the floor behind him.

"You all must be jealous of me," Hiei muttered, his remark directed at the girls. They laughed at the joke, trying to hide their embarrassment.

The fourth round was finished. This time the drunken demon was the victor, and his friendly rival Kuwabara had the poorest hand.

"Hehe," Hiei cackled. He placed his elbows behind his knees and propped his face up with his hands, staring Kuwabara down in his strange new position. Kuwabara sunk into the floor (which didn't work, it wasn't all that gelatinous). He knew that he was in for it. Hamster legs always had it out for him, after all.

"I…dare…you…" Hiei stated in a hushed murmur, "to tell the detective's neighbor that you love them…"

"Seems easy enough," Kuwabara let out the breath that he was holding. He figured that they probably wouldn't be home.

"In your underwear," the short one finished. He sat back, brushing shoulders with the boys next to him, adding. "And they _are_ home."

"Come on! That's not fair! Do I ha…" He was punched in the arm by his sister. He cursed under his breath, making sure that the ladies didn't hear him, and performed the dare. The woman next door gasped and slammed the door on him, sending him darting back into the apartment and slamming the door behind him. Hiei and the others let out deep cackles, which the kid vowed revenge on (once he redressed himself).

So the Universe bestowed upon him such an opportunity. It did prefer him to Yusuke anyway. Kurama was to receive his second dare of the night.

"I'm gonna get you, anklebiter," Kuwabara grimaced. He turned to Kurama and said, "I dare you to kiss Hiei." That would bring him out into the open once and for all! Plus, Koenma had offered him some side money if he helped him win his own bet.

"Hn…" Hiei snarled, leaning in to Yusuke. Yusuke was trembling; it would answer some questions for him, but did he want to see that? Well, sort of, but in the lesbian-porn-is-hot-to-all-men way. He stood by his newfound belief, due to the fact that Hiei was pressing into his side, afraid of what was going to happen.

"Oh, that's not a big deal!" Kurama remarked as if…it weren't a big deal. He leaned over and placed his lips quickly on Hiei's right cheek then leaned back into the couch and crossed his arms victoriously. There wasn't anything that the great _Kurama_ wouldn't do.

Hiei quickly wiped off the small damp feeling on his face and growled at Kuwabara. Meanwhile, Botan and Shizuru were busy using body language to communicate about how hot they found that small bit of male on male love. Yusuke shrugged, it must be a girl thing. He was more concerned about his own feelings, and how they were confirmed as the night progressed.

The next round of poker began, but it was interrupted mid-deal by Koenma, who had decided to put those new communicators to good use.

"What's up, Koenma" Botan asked perkily, flipping open her silver disc. The four boys gathered around her, allowing Shizuru the chance to take a seat on the couch.

Hiei tried to push his way passed the dullard, who was blocking his view. He popped in next to the still shirtless Yusuke, and said, "Hi, Koenma."

The toddler in blue made a strange face at the rather out of character greeting from the normally pre-menstrual demon. He figured that it must be some sort of ploy to get out of his punishment. He would have none of that! He _had _to win that bet!

_"Well, it seems that we have a troublemaker on our hands,"_ Koenma began.

"Yeah, duh, why else would you be bothering us?" Yusuke interjected. "To invite us over for cookies?" The baby glared at Yusuke, which soon turned to a look of flattery, brought on by the next comment.

"You look better when you're older," Hiei muttered, a slur on his first word.

_"Uh, thanks, Hiei,"_ Koenma stuttered. _"Getting back to business, this guy is running around, claiming to be Shuichi Minamino. He's committing random and small petty crimes, possibly in an attempt to get Kurama kicked out of school."_

Kurama stepped forward, also without a shirt, and asked, "But what could be their motivation?"

Koenma was about to answer, but the only thing that he could see on his end was two shirtless boys, Botan, Kuwabara, and an overly flirtatious Hiei (who was poking curiously at Yusuke's side for no apparent reason). He strayed from the topic to ask, _"What the heck is going on over there?"_

"Apparently I am not very good at poker, sir," Kurama answered.

_"Ah. Well, his objective is to reveal your human cover, Kurama. There is nothing to worry about, his threat is low. Not as low as the previous demon, but this is a minor case."_

"So what does the fake flower boy look like?" Hiei questioned, indirectly insulting Kurama. He was angry about the way his face had been treated a few minutes earlier.

_"He looks like Kurama!"_ Koenma replied. He was nervous, as Hiei had just openly insulted Kurama. Perhaps he was going to lose his wager?

"I'm going to find him," the demi-demon said, "it should be fairly easy."

"I'm comin' too!" Kuwabara exclaimed. "I ain't lettin' some jerkface ruin things for that really nice mom of yours!"

_"Well, Yusuke, for once, you don't have to solve this case,"_ Koenma informed him.

The detective thought about it for a moment. He didn't exactly want to get hot and sweaty with Kurama, as strange as that might sound. He did, however, want to let Hiei out of his sentence for a little while. He agreed to tag along too, but surprisingly, the demon that he was looking out for spoke up.

"I don't want to go," he remarked.

_"If Yusuke goes, you have to go,"_ Koenma declared clearly. _"Good luck, guys."_ The toddler made a peace sign and smiled, _"Peace out, homies!"_

"What the hell?" Botan cursed out of nowhere. No one was as bewildered about her remark as they were about what she was cursing about. Koenma's 'trendy' choice of words made him appear foolish.

Yusuke watched Hiei retrieve his sword from its position against the kitchen wall. It struck him then; how _did_ the guy have his sword when he didn't have his cloak to conceal it? He decided not to question the fact. He was already inducing anger from Hiei by forcing him to do something for himself.

"Well, come on, kiddo," Shizuru turned to Keiko. "I'll walk ya home." The other brunette nodded and the two girls wished their boys good luck as they prepared to leave. Kurama made his way to the couch and picked up his shirt. Shizuru stopped in her tracks and said, "The rest of the night." The green-eyed boy sighed, protesting that it wasn't conventional for guys to walk around Japan without clothing, but Shizuru broke his tirade by announcing, "Fine. Forget that Keiko. We're going _with_ them." Beads of sweat were now rolling down _Kurama's_ neck. Both he and Yusuke took their shirts anyway, but had to keep them tucked in to the back of their pants.

Kurama had figured that the first place to look was in his neighborhood. His suspicion was correct. Botan had pulled out one of the many Spirit World devices (the demon radar), and they were currently walking in the direction of the false Shuichi. Yusuke was dragging several feet behind everyone, trying to keep an eye on Hiei, who was straggling. The normally dark demon was actually dragging his feet, much like a small child would in protest of food shopping with its mother.

"Come on, Hiei," Yusuke prodded. "I only came so you could get out of that building."

"I don't want to help Kurama," he stated dejectedly, his eyes locked on the sidewalk.

"Why not? Is it because of Kuwabara's dare?" Yusuke asked. He realized that starting some sort of heart-to-heart talk with Hiei was a bad idea. He had only really asked the questions out of human habit to console.

"I'm tired," Hiei responded, inching closer to Yusuke. The detective should at least know that alcohol makes a person sleepy. He should have tried to stall the mission for the next day.

"You need to say these things, Hiei. I can't read minds." The boy blew some hair out of his eyes; his gel was losing strength. "You said that you could handle it."

"I'm going to tell Botan that we're leaving," Hiei said, picking up his stride and joining the second wave of people, the three girls. After a minute of conversing and one evil chuckle from the abnormally optimistic detective assistant, Hiei returned to Yusuke with a pale face and said, "Nevermind. I'm not tired." Had Botan used the picture as leverage? Either way, it didn't matter, because Hiei slumped into Yusuke, unconscious and asleep. Yusuke quickly caught him and then hoisted him up into his arms, carrying him like a cradled newborn infant. He called for one of the girls to pick up the sword, which had fallen to the ground in a clank. Botan obliged the request.

"It's a good thing that Koenma doesn't pay Hiei…" Kuwabara murmured to everyone, somewhat afraid that Hiei _wasn't_ sleeping on the job.

"I should prolly take him back, guys," Yusuke apologized, adjusting Hiei in his arms. "Sorry."

* * *

The boy rested his back against the wall behind his bed. It was nice to rest after carrying Hiei eight blocks, even though he still had no rest from the actual burden. He was sort of mad that dirty shoes were in his bed, but he didn't see the need to remove any article clothing without the demon's consent. Plus, the thought of where Hiei's shoes have been terrified him more than a night alone in the Demon World did.

He brought a blanket up to cover both of them before moving Hiei by the back of his neck. The demon's jawbone had been rather uncomfortable in its former space; grinding into Yusuke's collarbone. He smiled when he noticed that Hiei had left a tiny smudge of saliva, most likely formed due to his slumber. Hiei drooling in his sleep? It was an adorable concept. Plus, now he knew that demon fluids weren't acidic, at least this particular one's weren't.

He still wasn't certain. Perhaps it was his curiosity getting the better of him. He brought his finger to the damp spot, then to his lips for a taste. Nothing, just like water. A foreign idea crossed his brain at that single moment, one that could result in the painful tearing of his head from his body, but also a pleasant sensation. He could steal a kiss from him _right then_, and Hiei may never know it.

That was absurd! _Hiei_? Why couldn't he explain his desire to touch their lips together? It seemed as if everything was happening so fast, _or maybe it already was there, unlocked by their new arrangement_. He tossed the thoughts out the window (they weren't too happy about that; they preferred the door), and decided to stick with Urameshi philosophy. _I'd rather regret doing something then regret not doing something_, he thought. If he liked it, he could know for sure that it was always there; if not, then he could rest assured that such conceptions were brought on by the decree of Koenma, and nothing more.

Yusuke looked at him, leaping into the pool with both feet, and softly pushing his closed lips to Hiei's unaware mouth. He held them there, taking in the feeling, warm, yet cold, and most definitely unchapped (a surprise due to Hiei's usual choice of harsh words). Anxiety attacked him as he identified the brim of the mouth; what if Hiei woke up? It was no secret that the small framed demon abhorred the dare that Kurama had so boldly carried out earlier in the night. He released the imprisoned lips and nuzzled Hiei absent-mindedly. Hey, it wasn't as if they weren't going to wake up that way _anyway_.

_To Be Continued..._

* * *

_Author's Note_

Thanks to Tsuname, ShadowDragon, Kittengrl39, FluffysBijin05, Parariillusion, Yoko's Babby, Umi no Oni, Averon, and Black Angel of Destruction (aka MK! ) ).

-Zelia Theb


	4. Achoo!

**-- This Chapter was updated 9-1-2008 --**

* * *

**Huminshou**

By Zelia Theb

Disclaimer: _Yu Yu Hakusho_ is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi. Mario is a popular character from Nintendo, so he's not mine either.

* * *

Hiei woke up from the sound of his own cough. Cough? Hiei didn't cough. Maybe the detective was smoking again. Yusuke wasn't anywhere to be found, at least from his view from the detective's bed. The demon tried to sit himself up and felt a slow pain creep up his back and into his neck and shoulders. His muscles ached all over, and his ankles were numb from lack of circulation.

His shoes were still on?

He kicked them off then flopped back into the mattress. He quickly tugged the blankets around him; since when does Yusuke have air conditioning in his room? It felt like winter! He shivered then jumbled himself out of the bed (after tripping due to his own mistake of wrapping himself in sheets like a present). He made it to the door and opened it, then leaned on the frame and coughed again.

"You're coughing?" Yusuke questioned, looking up from his newly formed breakfast making duties.

"You must be smoking again," Hiei defended.

"You don't look so good," Yusuke said, turning off the burner of the stove that he was working with and coming over to Hiei.

"I tire of hearing you humans call me ugly," Hiei retorted. He hadn't even done anything, as usual, and Yusuke was already insulting him!

"I don't think that you're ugly," the boy assured him, placing a hand on Hiei's cheek. "You're really hot, eerm, I mean warm."

"What did I say, Detective?" Hiei scowled. "You're pushing it." Who said that he could just touch him like that? Wasn't it obvious that a _fire_ demon would be warm?

But he was cold!

"Are you sick?"

Hiei blinked. Of course he wasn't sick! He was coughing from the cigarette smoke (of which there was none lingering), cold from the air conditioning (which Yusuke didn't have), and aching from all those strange sleeping positions (which is Yusuke's fault because he owned a bed).

"Go take a bath," Yusuke commanded, as if Hiei was actually going to listen to him. "I have to get the laundry from the basement."

"Hn. Since when do I bathe on your command?" Hiei snided, ending the statement with a cough.

"First of all, you're sick, so you need to take a warm bath." The boy's chocolate orbs narrowed as his voice became angrier. "Second of all, you pissy ungrateful demon, I'm going out of my way to make you food and take care of you, and all you do is complain. I even tried to get you out of the building last night and you didn't even want to do that! So shut up, get in the bath, and wait for me to get you clean clothes and finish cooking breakfast!"

"You can't make me do anything!" Hiei yelled back (which wasn't a good idea; his throat was becoming raw from the coughing, and it only caused him to cough again).

"You're the idiot who let Kurama flirt with you so much that Koenma had to make a bet on it with some assistant guy! If you didn't do that, or _STEAL_ stuff to begin with, maybe you wouldn't be here!"

"_I DO NOT LIKE KURAMA!_"

"_I know!_" Yusuke informed him. "But that doesn't mean that this whole thing isn't your fault, stupid! I mean, _damn,_ Hiei! Don't you think this whole punishment pisses me off too?"

"So I'm an inconvenience?"

Yusuke's face did more gymnastics. If his overwhelming desire to give the sick demon a hug wasn't there to hold him back, he swore that he could strangle him right then and there.

"Fine," Hiei said, his eyes showing hurt but his face only expressing pain during his coughing fits. "You know, I could kill you now and then I'd never have to listen to you again." Yes, that ought to shut the detective _up_. _Fear_ _the_… his thoughts were interrupted by the spasms in his chest _…great…Jagan…_

"Ah yes. Then Yukina comes up to you crying, asking why you murdered the person who saved her from the bad guys. Yes, what a nice brother you are." The vibrating sound of a string was heard echoing through the apartment, much like when the hammer of a piano comes crashing down. Yusuke had just struck a nerve.

"Shut up. You have no idea what you're talking about, so just shut up!" Passion and anger were more prominent in the short demon's voice now. It was clear that he was probably going to lose it (his marbles, not his voice, though he was close to losing that as well).

Yusuke growled, "Just go take that damn bath! I'll be right back!"

Moments later, Hiei found himself sitting in a tub of hot water. Could he admit that the boy was right? Maybe. It did warm him up, and it eased the pain in his muscles, not to mention the effect that the steam had on his lungs. He sneezed, the reaction causing his body to jerk and slip completely under the water. His hair was limp from the weight of the scented water. It fell to his shoulders neatly, with strands of white and black framing the sides of his face.

How did he get himself into this mess? Was it really all his fault? Sure, the whole 'Let's steal Enma's Artifacts of Darkness' plot was his idea, though it was foiled by Yusuke (on sheer luck, no less). Then again, Kurama was the idiot master thief who betrayed him in the first place. He could have easily disposed of Yusuke, and not been so willing to help the delinquent out.

Kurama could have also laid off on the touching, the smiles, the random comments which alluded to the (untrue) fact that he would know Hiei better than anyone. As if. As a matter of fact, the one who probably knew him the best was the one he despised the most, the carrot-top Kuwabara. Hiei blew bubbles out of his mouth in disgust (the water came up to the top of his nose).

The detective was partially right; it was Kurama's fault for getting him into this mess. And now he had a human cold on top of it all! What could be worse…. Hiei thought himself into a spiral. He knew that Yusuke would turn to Kurama for help on curing him. Not only would the fox be spurring more rumors (and that is all that they were; rumors), but he would have to watch those sickening green eyes of his play elevator with Yusuke. He had no idea _when_ Kurama had decided to be so flamboyant about his feelings toward the detective, but it was disgusting.

Of course, if Hiei had just pretended to be with Kurama, then perhaps Koenma would have released him from this concrete and steel prison. He wouldn't have to let the detective trick him into sleeping in his bed anymore, and he could forget all of the human thoughts and feelings that have been going through his head for the past few days. The worst of them all was the dream he had last night. Yusuke had kissed him, and Hiei wanted to return it, but Yusuke was soon swallowed up by a giant marshmallow which insisted on dancing with cheerleaders. Ugly cheerleaders. It was still a far better dream than he had been having (when he _did_ have them). A lot less nightmarish.

"I'm back, Hiei," Yusuke called through the door after knocking, "and I have clothes for you…so…umm…"

Hiei hugged his knees, trying to cover himself up, then replied, "Just come in." He didn't want it to seem like he was _hitting_ on Yusuke by flashing him, though it would be blurred by the water.

The door cracked open a bit, and Yusuke asked, "Is it safe?" The last thing that the teenager needed was to let Hiei catch him staring. It was bad enough that he was attracted to him and stole a kiss last night.

"It's fine." Yusuke let out his held breath and walked in with folded pajamas in his hands. He set them down on a dry basin next to the towels, then turned to Hiei to speak.

"These should…" he cracked a smile, "keep you comfortable."

"What are you smiling about?" Hiei asked. He had to ask again because he realized that the boy probably couldn't hear him through the water.

"I wish that I had a camera!" he joked.

"Why? Is demon pornography a hot seller on the black market?" Hiei glowered at him.

"No, your hair. I didn't think that it was possible!" It made him appear less…evil.

"Hn. Get out."

"Fine, fine, fine. Don't get your wards in a bunch," Yusuke taunted, picking up the old clothing from the floor. "Just let me take these so I can do the next load of laundry." _Someone_ had to do the chores around here!

Hiei perked up, unfolding his legs (a knee-jerk reaction), and protested, "Uh…No! Leave them here."

"Eer…okay." Yusuke dropped them back to the floor and left. Hiei sighed in relief. The last thing he needed was for the boy to check his pockets. On the other hand, the most recent last thing he wanted was for Yusuke to not see his… oh well, the boy probably didn't see anything anyway.

* * *

"Yes, it's just a cold, or some sort of influenza." Kurama turned back to Hiei (who was laying vulnerably in the cursed sheets of evil) and told him, "Just drink that tea and you should be better by tomorrow, maybe even tonight."

"Whatever," Hiei curtly replied.

"Thanks for coming over Kurama," Yusuke said from his position at the foot of his own bed. It really couldn't be considered the foot of the bed this time; Hiei's feet hardly reached the edge.

"Oh, _no problem_," Kurama answered with a wink. "I'll call to check up on him tomorrow." The two teenagers left the room, closing the door behind them.

Hiei rolled his eyes as he sipped at the medicinal beverage. At least he didn't have to see any more displays of horrid affection, though he desperately wanted to go out there and prevent it. Yusuke liked Keiko, right? So there was nothing to worry about. But what about Keiko? So there _was_ something to worry about after all. Like nothing, absolutely nothing. He could care less.

Because he could care less, he reached down and pulled a familiar photograph out of the pocket of the jeans he wore earlier. He stared at it intently, wondering how Botan had gotten something like that. He was happy that he had managed to steal it without her knowledge. Now it was time to destroy it. He held it above the sheets and used all of his will to ignite it.

To… ignite it.

He growled at the peaceful faces in the picture. _Ignite, damn it!_

"Why won't you BURN!" Hiei roared quietly. The pupils of his eyes went small as he widened his eyelids.

_BURST INTO FLAMES!_

Nothing. It was no use, there must have been some part of him that was holding back his attack. He trusted that it was the fault of the cold that he didn't have. Meanwhile…

Yusuke sat down on his familiar couch, bored out of his mind. He hadn't been to the arcade in days, and he couldn't leave Hiei alone. He sighed loudly, spurring Kurama (who was hesitantly gathering his bookbag to leave) to speak up.

"What's wrong, Yusuke?"

"I'm bored, that's all," the addressed boy answered.

"I think that I may have a cure for that as well…" Kurama smoothly uttered with that same flirtatious smirk he adorned his face with the previous night. Yusuke froze, hoping that Kurama had an arcade in his bookbag, and not some groping tricks up his sleeve.

"We can play a game!" the redhead declared cheerfully. He opened his bag and pulled out a game console, two controllers, and a few wires (which were wrapped neatly in small coils).

The Universe didn't hate the human boy all that much.

Ditching all doubt out the window (not forgetting the bungee cords; they had to spring back into his head eventually), Yusuke anxiously waited as Kurama connected the console to his television. The partial demon had brought three games, a martial arts tournament type, a Mario game, and a puzzle game. Naturally, Yusuke reached for the fighting game cartridge and inserted it into the machine.

After fighting several rounds (and only winning one out of every four), Yusuke set the controller down and offered, "Want something to drink?" Kurama nodded as he set his own controller down to stretch. His posterior was growing sore; there was something about video games which made normal people choose the floor over a regular seat. He stood and maneuvered himself over to the sofa, and Yusuke returned with two cans of pop.

The short-haired one began massaging his thumbs, remarking, "Man, just shows how long it's been since I've done any hard-core gaming." He sat down on the couch next to Kurama, unaware that he was about to be pounced.

"Let me fix that for you…" Kurama boldly took Yusuke's hands and took over the job of masseuse, being cautious not to lose his fixation on the shocked brown eyes (the bungee cord finally snapped back).

"Ku…Kurama…what are you doing?" Yusuke stammered, thinking of different ways to get out of the situation. See, his problem wasn't just Hiei or Keiko, but the fact that if Kurama _were_ to make some sort of move on him, he probably wouldn't resist. This was all based on the fact that he was young and anxious for some physical affection (once he had a taste, he couldn't go back, though it was a shame he couldn't remember her name…), and the fact that he _did_ think Kurama was rather…feminine and quite attractive for a guy.

"I'm flirting with you," the fox (yes, a double meaning indeed) replied honestly.

"S…since when…do you…" Yusuke fumbled with his speech again as Kurama inched closer, beginning to loom over him.

"Since always." He followed the whisper by licking his lips, letting Yusuke know that there was no escape.

Or was there?

"Detective."

Leaping up, nearly saying, "Oh thank heavens you came to my rescue my fair prince!" but didn't, Yusuke ran over to Hiei and felt his head for a temperature. A short distance behind him, Kurama shot an incredibly nasty glare straight through his crush's head and into Hiei.

"Oh, your temperature dropped! That's good," Yusuke spoke quicker than Hiei could run, "Yes, very good, don't you think so Kurama? Yes," he answered for the demon. "Very good. You do a good job…eer…you make good medicine, and he got better really fast!" Yusuke finally ended his overly embarrassing tirade by laughing hysterically.

"Looks like there's no need to _check up_ _on_ _me_ tomorrow, fox," Hiei stated clearly. The tension in the room was quite dense; not even a fog expert from London could have navigated their way out of it.

* * *

Hiei was absent for another week. He took flight after having woken up next to Yusuke the morning after he recovered. That boy would be his undoing (of many things: his mask, his demon side, and possibly his pants). He never returned for another short nap, he had taken a liking to the roof, or sometimes on cold nights, the floor of the laundry room in the basement, especially when someone had a dryer turned on. He loved sitting near that vent. He'd find himself sneaking into the empty apartment on the top floor at times to use the shower. If there was one thing that he liked about the human world, it was the invention of the shower.

Yusuke decided to go to school for a few days. His mother finally came home, announcing that she had a new boyfriend, so she would probably be gone for most nights. He hadn't talked to anyone lately, except Keiko and Kuwabara, though he tried his hardest to avoid the girl. Keiko was no longer on the top of Yusuke's 'To Do' list, but he wasn't ready to tell her.

He was taking his usual lunch break, a dish of tobacco with a side of nicotine, on the school roof. That's when Botan flew in, wearing her own blue school uniform.

"Hello, Yusuke!" She hopped off her oar as it dematerialized.

"Great, what now?" Yusuke asked. He flicked some ashes on the ground despondently. He didn't want to talk to anyone.

"Nothing…I just came to tell you that Hiei's sentence is up." Yusuke's jaw dropped into his lap (if only; that was merely a dream that certain men had).

"You mean…he's back in the Demon World now?!" Yusuke shouted, his distress apparent.

"Oh! No!" Botan quickly corrected herself, "I mean that he is back to his regular probation now." That was…better. She continued, "So you can tell him after school." Yusuke picked his jaw back up. He wasn't gone _yet_.

"Well, at least Koenma got his stupid act straight," Yusuke remarked.

"Oh, well…he didn't exactly…" Yusuke's eyebrows moved up curiously. Yes, age-defying cream was a must on the five-finger discount list. The apparition explained, "Well, he ended up winning that bet."

"Huh? How?" Did Koenma dig through all of his old tapes or something?

"Well, two days ago, Kurama visited Hiei…" Botan let out, realizing that perhaps the Spirit Detective didn't want to really hear the reason, "and he returned his cloak to him. I don't know…"

"But," Yusuke faltered, "Hiei says he doesn't like Kurama, and Kurama likes…"

"I know. Well, Kurama's communicator must have slipped on or something, because Koenma witnessed him kissing Hiei's neck, and calling him little words like 'love' and whatnot. Hiei didn't seem to pleased with the whole ordeal, and it almost looked like Kurama had done it on purpose. But that was enough for Koenma."

"Oh…"

"What's the matter? It's not a big deal," Botan noted.

"Well, Kurama doesn't like Hiei either, and Hiei _can't_ like Kurama…"

Botan's tone of voice changed swiftly. "What about _Keiko_, Yusuke?"

"What do you mean what about Keiko?" Yusuke inquired, taking down a dense gulp of air.

"She's a nice girl!" Botan scolded him, shaking her index finger, "Don't you go breaking her heart!"

For once in his lifetime, Yusuke actually felt like attending class. He stood up and ditched his shortened cigarette, allowing it to burn away, and yelled ,"Just leave me alone, okay!"

* * *

He started at the basement and worked his way upwards. Finally, he was at the roof, and he found him.

"I…I know that Kurama found your cloak," Yusuke stated, watching the cloak flow in the breeze as Hiei stood with his back turned to the boy, glancing out over the city.

"He did." His voice was being carried off by the ominous wind, becoming of a storm.

"Well, because of _that_," Yusuke stated jealously, "You're back to your normal probation. Botan told me earlier today."

"Hn. Good," Hiei remarked as he leapt off the roof of the building in a black flash, illuminated by the lightning that had just streaked through the sky at the same moment.

* * *

Nothing could wake him up. Not the pounding of the rain against his window, not the crashes of violent thunder, not the footsteps in his room, not even the thud of a wet cloak on his floor, accessorized with the sound of shoes being kicked off and a shift in the weight on the bed.

He didn't even wake up when his body was pushed to the side and fell off the bed (well, the pusher had managed to catch the pushee at the last moment with his wet hands). It wasn't until morning that he woke up, having turned on his side during the night and finding Hiei in his arms once more. It was rather agitating, and embarrassing, but neither of them had ever deeply discussed the fact.

He smiled, staring at the boyish look on the shorter one's face. He brushed a misplaced strand of ebony hair back behind his ear, unafraid of perishing. The notion that Hiei had picked his room to sleep in of all places in the city that night brought him great happiness, easing the fears that Kurama's stunt had given him.

He couldn't describe the new wave of emotion that came over him. It was like that second time he stole a naughty magazine; he knew that he could get away with it, and that made him want to do it again. What could he say for himself; he was a bad kid with good intentions. So naturally, he gave in to his rebellious teen urges and placed another innocent kiss on the sleeping one's lips. Unfortunately, this time he was a little too close to being caught.

"Hn…" Hiei groaned, stretching his legs and opening sixty-six point six six six six six six (and so on) percent of his eyes.

"Hey," Yusuke uttered, "are ya hungry?"

"No." There were a few instances of silence as both of them wondered who would be the first to get out of bed.

"Why did you come here instead of going to Kura…" He was cut off as Hiei jerked away at the near mention of the other demon's name. Hiei jumped up and reached for his cloak. Upon picking it up, he quickly dropped it, because it never dried.

"I'll clean that for you!" Yusuke exclaimed, his voice apologizing for his earlier remark.

"Fine," Hiei agreed, swiping one of his other hand-me-down tees off the floor, "I'll come back for it tomorrow and that's it." 'That's it' referring to the last time he'll ever visit Yusuke's apartment. He quickly exited through the overused window.

The detective stuck by his philosophy. At least he had gotten his chance. He let his bare feet fall to the floor as he stood to close the window. He began gathering the laundry for the week, and checked all the pockets (just in case the Universe decided to hand him some miracle en). Out of habit, he even checked the seamless pockets of the soaked black cloak, and was surprised when he felt a piece of paper inside. He pulled it out and uncrinkled it, then flipped it over as the side he was previously viewing was blank white (more off-white as it was wrinkled and dirty and the edges were somewhat torn).

It was Botan's blackmail photograph. Why had Hiei kept it? He knew that he must have had it for a while, because Botan would _never_ have allowed it to get into such a condition. Hiei should have destroyed it, but he didn't. A new array of questions bombarded Yusuke's mind (no mind's were hurt during the arrival of such queries). He stuffed it in his own pocket, anxious yet extremely nervous to ask Hiei how he had gotten it, or why he had held on to it.

_To Be Continued..._

* * *

_Author's Note_

Thanks for all the reviews again! I keep telling myself that I shouldn't update so quickly so that I can rack more of 'em in (tee hee…), but oh well.

-Zelia Theb


	5. Smooch!

Warning: If you haven't seen passed the "Rescue Yukina" mini arc of the series, there might be teeny tiny spoilers in this chapter. Very teeny tiny. Anyway, still a warning. Oh yes, and this fic, like most fics, is semi-AU, because some stuff probably didn't happen. Don't leave me a review that says "This is inaccurate because THIS actually is what happened in their past!". Thanks!

**-- This Chapter was updated 9-1-2008 --**

* * *

**Huminshou**

By Zelia Theb

Disclaimer: _Yu Yu Hakusho_ is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.

* * *

Yusuke ignored the opening window and the presence that stood between he and it. Although the television was on, Yusuke was staring a hole through his coffee table. He wanted to break something.

"Where's my cloak," the presence stated caustically.

"Enjoying the rinse cycle," the emotionally disturbed boy answered. A wave of nervousness and nausea hit him. He had to light a cigarette, but he was all out. Instead he pulled out his lighter and nervously flicked at the flint wheel. The lighter was so similar to Hiei; snappy and full of fire.

"I need it now," Hiei remarked, heading for the door (for unknown reasons; dropping a few stories was faster than the stairs).

The detective inhaled, causing the butterflies in his stomach to be suppressed again. He revealed the photo, holding it tightly in his hand, and asked, "Looking for this?" A hurt glint was in his eye. He had an impulsive urge to do what Hiei hadn't done. He flicked at the lighter again, but held the flame there, and said, "Something you couldn't do, I guess." He slowly moved the photograph over the heat and burned his finger.

The swift demon had stolen the picture once again.

"Why didn't you destroy that?" Yusuke yelled, standing up and only a few inches from Hiei. The motives for his anger were unclear. Hiei looked at his own shoulder, refusing to answer.

"Oh. Going to show Keiko I guess," Yusuke sighed, seating himself back down. He had to calm down. Starting a fight with Hiei wasn't on his list of things to do.

"Fine. Think that. I'm leaving." And he did.

For a month. Yusuke stored the clothing away in his dresser, trying to forget the silly idea that he could ever start to like Hiei as anything more than a mere ally. Much to no one's surprise, two out of three missions that Yusuke had acquired during that month were Hiei-free. On the single (and very short) case that Hiei _was_ present for, Kuwabara had made a side comment to Yusuke regarding how gaunt and of course how crabby their ally was. It was clear that Koenma was right about Hiei after all.

* * *

"I don't like that game either," Kurama remarked, taking a seat on the stool next to Yusuke. The detective had just finished losing his final game for the night.

Yusuke never looked at the redhead. He was in a terrible mood. His mother had somehow managed to cut down on her own smoking, so naturally, Yusuke's supply was cut short. Also, there was mention of her now 'serious' boyfriend moving in with them. He had met him a few times. He was all right, but he just wasn't ready to have another person telling him what to do. He already had his mom, Keiko, the teachers, the principal, Koenma, Botan…

Speaking of which, he was also feeling the heat of failure in school. Normally, he wouldn't care, because he wouldn't _be_ there to get nagged about it, but now he had managed to attend four days a week, once even the full week. At least the kids were still leaving him alone; the legend of Urameshi never ended.

Yusuke's downward spiral of inner reflection was interrupted by an embrace from Kurama. The slightly taller boy pulled away and asked, "Is everything all right, Yusuke?"

"No," Yusuke replied as he stood, "you can't hug a guy in the middle of a public place." Kurama made a move to apologize, yet Yusuke didn't seem to care. He casually walked out of the arcade, heading in no particular direction. Kurama followed.

"You know," Kurama said once he caught up to the other boy, "my home is just up this road…"

"Then I guess that's where I'm going." Yusuke didn't really care. Maybe hanging out with a friend would bring him back to his old self (old meaning past, and past really meaning younger).

"I've never known you to be so silent," Kurama remarked as they entered his neatly kept home. His mother was on a vacation with her significant other, and she had entrusted the place to 'Shuichi' while she was gone. Yusuke was immediately struck by the scent of roses, and the many different ikebana and family photographs in the first room alone. It _felt_ like a real home should; Kurama was very lucky.

"I don't really feel like talking," Yusuke muttered. Kurama hugged him again, not letting go. It felt _nice_, so Yusuke held him in return. The consequences of his actions were not present in his mind.

"It seems your injuries have healed," the affectionate demon observed, "Though I suppose that something so terrible must have left a scar." Yusuke nodded (as much as he could with Kurama holding his head down into his shoulder).

"Just get it overwith, Kurama," Yusuke whispered into his neck. Kurama choked on the air before complying with the other boy's demand and kissed him.

He pulled away from Yusuke, brushing his own carmine colored locks out of his eyes, and noted, "You didn't want this, did you?"

That's when Hiei became attentive from his perch outside of the apartment window.

"No, I did…but…" Hiei let out a 'tch' at the detective's answer. What was he thinking, anyway? Spying on them? No, he was observing his teammates.

"But what, Yusuke?" the abhorrent fox (according to Hiei anyway) inquired.

"I just don't have feelings for you, like that…"

"I understand…" Kurama uttered, taking Yusuke into the curve of his collarbone again. "Well I _have_ feelings for you, Yusuke. If you ever…_need_…anything, you know where I am." The fox pulled away from the detective and took his hand, leading him toward the sofa. "Do you _need_ anything, Yusuke?"

Hiei looked back down at the ground, suddenly disinterested, no, disgusted at what Kurama was doing to the detective. He wanted to open the window (read: smash the window to bits) and hurt both of them. Yes, Yusuke too. After all, Yusuke had misled him. Had he really been so foolish to believe that Yusuke might have _liked_ him? Not that it mattered anyhow.

It was stupid for him to let human emotions corrode his brain. Yusuke was just pulling a Kurama (not literally… yet). Kurama had done the same thing, been all touchy feely, acted like he cared. At one point Hiei had questioned whether or not he _had_ liked Kurama, but luckily enough, he soon came to realize that Kurama was just_ Kurama_. He was always like that, and that's when Hiei began to be disgusted by the thought of he and the fox having any sort of relationship (and this all occurred _before_ that cursed clown parade, also known as the Dark Tournament). The rumors of 'Hiei and Kurama' started _during_ said era.

The demon looked back inside the Minamino home to see that Kurama was licking at Yusuke's neck (much in the same fashion that he had done to Hiei weeks earlier), and tugging at the detective's shirt. Revolting. However, little to Hiei's knowledge (due to his past, he had thought otherwise), the Universe _did_ like him the most out of the Spirit Detective team.

"Uhh…Kurama," Yusuke interrupted the fox's feast on his throat, "you said that you have feelings for me…Well, what about Hiei?"

"Hiei?" Kurama blinked at Yusuke.

"You were kissing him just like that, calling him little petnames and stuff. Don't you guys, uh, have something going on?" Hiei thought for a moment. Was the detective actually fooled by Kurama's wanton act? Yusuke continued as Kurama's eyes narrowed on him (possibly wondering the same thing that Hiei was). "I mean, everyone thought you guys were bangin' each other between matches at the tournament, but then Hiei kept insisting to me that he didn't like you like that…but then that whole Koenma bet thing happened, and Hiei was more than happy to just leave…" Kurama stopped Yusuke's rambling by placing a slender human finger over the boy's lips.

"What happened between Hiei and I was merely a ruse to fool Koenma and release Hiei from his confinement," Kurama corrected, "nothing more." He smirked and kissed Yusuke quickly, then added, "Plus, if you wanted, there would be no one to ever interrupt us…"

Hiei saw it. The quick nature in which Yusuke's facial expression changed from indifference to pissitivity (he cursed that damned human for deteriorating his vocabulary). Yusuke firmly stood up, brushing Kurama away in an almost ashamed motion.

"You could care less about Hiei's freedom, you just wanted him out of the way," the now angered boy stated. "That's very cold, Kurama."

"Yusuke!" Kurama protested. "It was both! I'm Hiei's _friend_! I thought that you were bogged down by having to look after him all the time!"

"I should probably go," Yusuke interrupted. "I guess I'll see ya at the next mission or wherever."

"I'm sorry, Yusuke," Kurama apologized, seeing his friend to the door. The demon walked over to the window, and that's when Hiei realized that Kurama knew he was there the whole time.

"I can forgive a sword through the stomach, Hiei," Kurama announced as he opened the window, "but I will _not_ forgive one through Yusuke's heart." He slammed the window shut and moved into the kitchen.

* * *

He froze. Yusuke wasn't there? He was certain those human institutions, or schools, rather, were closed by now. No, he sensed him. He just wasn't in bed yet. He was in the other room with someone else. His mother? Wrong again. It was Keiko. Hiei stayed low in a dark corner of the room, listening to try and figure out what was going on. Three days ago it had been Kurama, but now Keiko?

_"I'm so glad, Yusuke,"_ Keiko's voice said.

_"Mmm…Me too, I guess,"_ Yusuke said in a strange moaning tone.

_"It was so long!"_ she remarked. Yusuke chuckled. What on earth were those two doing? Hiei glanced at the clock on Yusuke's night stand. It read eleven-thirty, but the demon had no clue. He could only read digital clocks.

_"Man, I could only do that with you, Keiko."_

_"It's late, I should probably get this on and get going."_

_"What, leaving so soon after, Keiko? Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?"_ Keiko laughed. Hiei couldn't take it anymore. He found himself opening the door and bursting in to the embarrassing scene.

Only it was he who was embarrassed. Keiko was in the middle of putting a bookbag over her shoulders, and Yusuke's coffee table was littered with open text books, papers, and pencils.

"Oh, hi Hiei!" Keiko said cheerfully. She didn't bother asking why he was wearing a dark blue cloak instead of his normal black one (not that she would understand the concept of a demon clothing store anyway; how else did he and Kurama get a hold of the strange garments they wore on missions?).

"What is this?" Hiei asked, his eyes wide open in bewilderment.

"Some school project that Keiko tricked me into doing," Yusuke replied. "Took forever to finish." The detective moved toward the door to walk Keiko home and asked, "Ya wanna come too? I just have to walk her home, it's too late for her to go by herself." Hiei didn't say anything, which basically meant that he would.

He stood in the shadows once they made it to the door. Yusuke had informed him that seeing a strange looking boy would probably get Keiko in trouble with her parents. Hiei had actually started walking back with Yusuke, unsure of exactly why he didn't just bolt ahead and wait in his bed (to sleep, it was sleep that he needed).

"I haven't seen ya in a while," Yusuke remarked as they paced the semi-lit and quite empty streets of the city.

"Hn." He didn't feel like making small talk.

"Why did you burst in like that?"

"It sounded like you two were engaging in sickening activities," Hiei explained. Yusuke laughed after thinking about it, he guessed that the lines really could have been taken out of context.

"Naw, Keiko would never give it up so easily," Yusuke eased his laughter. "Believe me, I know." He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and added, "Plus, she's a prude anyway."

"A prude?" What exactly did the boy mean? Was Hiei really so naïve?

"Ya know, a virgin. Won't do kissy kissy type stuff. I can't believe that people sometimes think that she's my girlfriend." The boy turned a corner due to auto-pilot, catching Hiei off-guard. He wasn't used to walking the streets to Yusuke's home.

"You're not, though," Hiei muttered, thinking of the display between Yusuke and Kurama (the 'kissy kissy type stuff').

"No, but luckily I lost my virginity before I died." Yusuke laughed at his own joke. Hiei went silent. He had no idea exactly _how_ much older he was than the detective, but he had suddenly grown jealous of the feat. The most he had ever gotten was…from Kurama. That was gross.

Yusuke perused Hiei, his brown eyes scanning the strange and disgusted look on the demon's face. The turned another corner as Yusuke spoke up, "So…I didn't make you feel weird or anything, did I?"

"Hn. No," Hiei lied, "I could care less. I'm not like you human's. We don't care if we do anything before we die."

"Sorry, I didn't think that…I mean…I guess I would have thought that you would have…at least kissed someone once in your lifetime," Yusuke stammered. He suddenly felt guilty for having stolen two of them from Hiei without his knowledge.

"I didn't. So what. It doesn't matter," Hiei replied coldly. Actually, since Yusuke brought it up, it _did_ matter. _Stupid _(expletive left out due to the fact there are no words in the human language that could compare to the demon tongue Hiei just cursed in) _human!_ Hiei thought.

"Well, ya never know when you're just gonna up and croak," Yusuke teased, half mocking himself. They walked into his building and headed for the stairs (which Hiei was grateful for as he hated elevators).

"Hn. I have plenty of time. I don't intend on dying anytime in the near future," Hiei admitted. Yusuke's face was back to it's regular yet irregular contortions. How was it that Hiei managed to contradict himself so often and pay no attention to the fact?

"You could just ask a…friend," Yusuke giggled. He wondered if Hiei would accidentally admit to having friends during the conversation.

"Oh, yes, Detective. Another brilliant deduction on your behalf," the demon sarcastically remarked. "And how do you suppose I do that? Who do you infer that I ask? Don't you know that I don't give or ask favors?" Yusuke had a Botan moment when he yelled out 'Bingo!' in his head.

"Well, one of the girls could do it for ya, except Yukina, since that's gross," Yusuke seriously answered. "I guess Shizuru would be the one to do it. That would be funny…you mackin' with a Kuwabara…" Yusuke cackled evilly.

"Who cares about girls," Hiei spat out suddenly, unaware that his admittance was rather unconventional in the Human World. Women were so…girly. They treasured things for centuries, remembered everything, were weak, and generally annoying.

"You could always ask _Kurama_," Yusuke smirked, inwardly happy that he was tricking Hiei into spilling his guts (not literally, ew). His tone changed when he remembered Kurama's absurd behavior the other night. "He'd probably be more than willing to kiss you again."

"No. Yuck." Did Hiei just say 'yuck'? Yusuke laughed as they ascended the final flight of stairs. He wasn't going to suggest Kuwabara, for obvious reasons, and not himself, because that would be too stupid.

"It's a dumb idea anyway," Yusuke said. "You'd have to search the whole fricken world to find someone that the great Hiei would trust with something like that." They walked down the hallway and the boy opened up the door to his apartment. He was surprised to see that Hiei had actually slipped off his shoes at the door for once.

"It is a dumb idea," Hiei muttered, following Yusuke to the couch without thinking. The detective shifted the papers into a somewhat neat pile and flicked on the TV.

"I've seen this one like a hundred times," the teenager said, regarding the show that was on the screen. The flickers of the screen illuminated their faces with a bluish color; it was the only 'light' on in the place. He was poked in the shoulder, then turned to look at the poker.

"You."

"Huh? Me? Me what?" Yusuke questioned.

"You won't tell anyone we talked," Hiei stated clearly.

"No. It's not my secret to tell," Yusuke said, a slight 'duh' factor in his voice. "You can trust me, idiot."

"I know," Hiei answered, his own eyes fixated on the screen.

Yusuke's eyebrow raised. "You do?"

"Hn. Of course, fool. You haven't told anyone about the _picture_, have you?" The picture had a triple meaning: the actual photo itself, the insomnia, and the habit contained within the photo. The incriminating picture was still in existence, as well.

"No, I wouldn't do that to you," Yusuke responded. His attention briefly went to the action scene on the screen and he said, "Come on! Kick him!" Hiei disregarded the fact that Yusuke had already seen that particular episode several times. Teasing the detective wasn't on his list of things to do, ever since a few moments ago when the boy clearly found an advantage over him.

It didn't matter!

"You're the only one who's defeated me, Detective," Hiei stated flatly. The program cut to a commercial of floating rabbits drinking pink liquid, which Hiei didn't quite understand, but he didn't quite care either.

"Yeah, and I'm probably the only person who's held ya like a baby," Yusuke grinned.

"It's a moronic idea," Hiei muttered again. The commercials ended, and they were back to watching the rerun. He poked Yusuke in the shoulder again. "I would never ask you, so don't think that I would."

"Ask me? Why would you ask me, anyway?" Yusuke found his face heating up. The Universe was a cruel, cruel woman.

"Hn. You're the only person who fits the criteria of such an inane concept."

"Yeah, prolly," Yusuke said, trying to sound disinterested (and it was working).

"But you're a human, even if you'd never tell," Hiei reasoned.

"Hey, let's get one thing straight here," Yusuke smiled. "I'm not your average human!" He then spouted another remark at the 'hero' of the show.

"So you wouldn't tell?" What was Hiei thinking? Making frivolous chit-chat with the detective. This was his dumbest attempt yet at beating around the bush. At least he'd be able to confirm some things for himself, if indeed the boy actually agreed to it. It's not like he actually cared; Yusuke probably wasn't catching on to the scheme.

First kiss? How lame.

"Are you asking?"

"No." Hadn't Hiei just made that clear? Stupid boy.

"No, I wouldn't tell." Yusuke struggled to find a good cover up reason as to why, then found it. "Neither of us would want to brag about doing something like that with the other." The detective had a point.

They returned to their viewing for the remainder of the show. As the credits rolled up the screen, Hiei thrusted his index finger into Yusuke's shoulder again. Upon getting the taller one's attention again, he said, "So it's clear that I'm not asking."

"Yeah." Yusuke turned to face Hiei, and added, "Because you can't ask for something that _never happened_, right?"

"Right. It never happened." Hiei repositioned himself, sitting on the back of his calves, turning a whole ninety degrees to his right. He was _nervous_. The last time he was so vulnerable was when his sister was in trouble. What was spurring him to do this? Curiosity? Yes, that was it. His body was acting abnormally human; his heart was racing at a pace that he could not keep up with if it were possible for them to have a foot race.

Yusuke gripped Hiei's shoulder's firmly, making sure that he wasn't going to leave his hands free to accidentally wander if he got too involved. Some might have called him suicidal. He asked him, "You ready?"

"Hn. What's there to be ready for?"

"Right." He let Hiei be the one to initiate the contact. Yusuke didn't want to come off as willing. He could tell that the demon was unsure of how to act, but yet, he acted naturally. Their tongues made contact a total of three times (Yusuke had to count to keep his mind off of the fact that a tongue was in his mouth), and Hiei slowly pulled away, being sure not to look into Yusuke's eyes.

He crumbled, but Yusuke had prepared for that (because if he didn't, he wouldn't have been able to keep up with the blinding speed of short demon). Hiei muttered (after not being able to escape the shoulder grip), "Stupid idea." Stupid because he wanted to do it again. Stupid because he wanted to kiss the _human boy_ who had foiled his perfect plan by a mere fluke and foot in the face. Stupid because _he was scared of the foreign feeling_.

"Why are you trying to get away?" Yusuke asked.

"I don't need to listen to your insidious insults, Yusuke," Hiei retorted, trying to think of a way to escape. Yusuke was going to reject him and make fun of his mediocre smooching skills. He was going to freak out because a demon had kissed him. Little did he know that these same thoughts were going through the detective's head too.

"The Hiei I know isn't a coward," the boy said, tightening his grasp on the tiny shoulders. "There is nothing to worry about. That was fine. You didn't even need practice."

Hiei sighed. He was too exhausted to argue. They could just forget about this, just like they forgot about their sleeping arrangements. At least he had gotten his chance. Normally he would do things without worry of regret, or stop himself from doing other things for the very same reason. He often spent too much time looking back on the things that he could have done, but didn't. It was a personal step forward for him, even if it led to nothing.

"You seem tired." Hiei looked up with droopy eyes. "Yeah, you're tired. I am too." Letting go of the sleepy demon's shoulders, he went to his room and grabbed a blue blanket.

"What are you doing with that?" Hiei questioned, feeling as if he was going to fall over.

"I'll sleep out here tonight. You seem like you haven't slept in days…or something, so you can have the bed all to yourself for once." Yusuke curled up in the blue blanket and turned off the TV. Hiei stared blankly into the kitchen, not blinking. He had fallen asleep momentarily, but then woke up and made his way to the bedroom.

* * *

Hiei was restless. It was some sort of mental requirement that he couldn't trace the roots back on. He had to sleep with a warm body in order to go into a deep sleep. Otherwise, it was mostly tossing and turning, which is why he preferred trees for the most part. He could at least get some minor rest in those, because if he tossed and turned, he would roll out of them. The worst part of all, was that he never realized what kind of slumber he was missing out on since that fateful morning he had woken up with Yusuke.

He took the photograph of that first morning out of his pocket. Crumpling the corner, he leaned back in the bed, sighing, because there was no other choice if he wanted some rest. He made a move to get out of the bed, but the door opened slowly. Hiei quickly concealed the picture (which was difficult because his cloak was on the floor and he was topless) and watched as Yusuke walked to bed and reached for one of the pillows.

"I didn't wake you up, did I." No, it wasn't a question. He had figured that Hiei _had_ been awake the whole time. Yusuke set the pillow back down and murmured, "I was just coming to get a pillow, but…"

"But _what_?" was the stern reply. Hiei had his feet still dangling over the edge of the bed, and his back was to Yusuke. He felt the boy on top of the mattress and slowly crawl over to him. The detective was shockingly close to him.

"Aren't you going to tell me that I'm pushing it, or on thin ice, or that you'll slice off my legs if I come any closer?" Yusuke whispered.

"Hn. What's the point." He didn't have the energy to slice anyone's legs off.

Yusuke's arm swept quickly over Hiei's stomach and dragged him back down into the bed. For a single second (again, which he couldn't read from the clock, it was a mere guess), Hiei had thought that the detective was going to loom over him and kiss him, but he didn't (much to his disappointment). Instead, they just curled up into their regular position and fell asleep. Sleeping far apart? What's the point?

_To Be Continued..._


	6. Zing!

_Author's Note_

I am aware that Japanese restaurants differ from western ones in the way that orders are taken, etc. There is a restaurant scene here, but since it's delicacy is foreign food, I figured that the way in which the restaurant was run would be foreign as well.

**-- This Chapter was updated 9-1-2008 --**

* * *

**Huminshou**

By Zelia Theb

Disclaimer: _Yu Yu Hakusho_ is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.

* * *

Yusuke and Kuwabara were heading toward the arcade (after having smashed the faces of some annoying goons in). Kuwabara insisted on taking a shortcut through an alleyway, which is when they were stopped for another fight.

"You. Fight me," Hiei demanded, pointing at Yusuke.

"I don't want to fight you, how about fighting lughead here?" Yusuke said, checking a thumb in Kuwabara's direction.

"Yeah, come on shrimpy! I can take ya!" the classmate offered. In less than a moment's time (after having sighed at the waste of such a moment), Hiei had laid Kuwabara flat out on the concrete of the alley.

"You," Hiei said, dusting his hands off on his quite clean (and mountain spring scented) black cloak, "fight me."

"No," Yusuke answered, "I'm hungry."

"Hn. Go eat and then fight me."

"Yusuke!" a female voice called out from the street entrance of the alley. It was Botan, with Keiko in tow. Hiei caught Yusuke rolling his eyes as the two girls ran up to him. The greetings were swiftly made, and Yusuke's hunger was announced once more.

"Oh!" Keiko exclaimed. "Well I just received a gift from my aunt, and I wanted to take everyone out for dinner!" Did the Universe like him, or did the Universe like him?

"All right!" Kuwabara shouted, "That's so nice of you, Keiko!" He turned to whisper to the other boy, "You got some woman there, Urameshi." Yusuke's face twitched.

"Are you coming, Hiei?" Keiko asked. His own expression copied the detective's.

"He's coming," Yusuke answered for him. He walked over to Hiei and questioned, "So what kinda stuff you got on underneath there?"

"Hn. Clothes," Hiei replied. A smirk crept across the boy's face at the answer. He bent down and lifted up the bottom of the red-lined cloak, peeking under it as if it really were a 'demon dress.' The demon fought the knee jerk reaction to kick him in his head.

"Ooh… normal people clothes," Yusuke mused. He quickly (faster than Hiei could react, surprisingly) removed the cloak, revealing a black pair of jeans and black tank (a mixture of their two wardrobes).

"Hey!" Hiei protested.

"Well we can't exactly have you looking like that in a restaurant, Hiei!" Botan remarked. This coming from the master of disguises.

The black-haired boy proceeded to stuff the cloak into his school bag. Despite it's shape and small size, the bag was empty (how surprising), so the cloak fit inside fine. At least Yusuke thought so.

"You're wrinkling it!" Hiei yelled, suddenly embarrassed that he had said something so…girly.

* * *

They had chosen a new and quite popular Mexican themed place that had opened up three blocks away. Hiei wondered how he had let himself get talked into such a mess. He came to the conclusion that he _was_ hungry, and he had actually never rebelled against the idea.

Wonderful. So he actually _liked_ Yusuke.

They were all seated at a large booth (able to hold three people on each side) in a corner with purple lighting. Yusuke and Kuwabara (being the gentlemen that they _thought_ they were) sat in the booth first, on opposite sides. Hiei, because of his desire to _not_ sit next to the tall imbecile, quickly sat next to Yusuke. Keiko and Botan were both too scared to sit next to Hiei, so they moved in next to the orange-haired kid.

"I don't get it," Hiei remarked, setting down his menu.

"It's spicy. Don't worry. I'll order for you." Yusuke set his own menu down in near unison with the other three. Hiei was somewhat content, at least Yusuke had some sort of idea what Hiei liked (even though he didn't like food, let alone ate it for that matter).

Their server, a cute waitress in a red, green, orange, and black dress, greeted them with a smile as she set down a large curved plate covered in tortilla chips with a large bowl of tomato salsa in the middle. The group placed their orders (aside from Hiei of course; Yusuke had ordered him a plain chicken tortilla and a black coffee).

Hiei curiously watched as his four dinner companions dipped chips into the salsa and chatted about random things; school, Koenma, things they hated in the city. He was hungry, so he asked, "What is so great about that stuff you're shoving into your mouths?"

"It's good, Hiei!" Botan told him.

"Yeah, try some!" Keiko suggested. Hiei went to reach for one of the airy and hardly greasy chips.

"Hey, I don't want that guy touching all the chips!" Kuwabara complained. Yusuke kicked him under the table and then dipped a chip in the salsa for Hiei before handing it to him. As the demon placed it in his mouth, Yusuke realized that giving Hiei salsa was _not_ the best idea in the world. It was rather spicy for free salsa.

Hiei struggled to swallow it. He couldn't let his eyes freely water up, nor could he spit out the food in front of everyone, especially _him_. He felt like he had swallowed lava. Delicious lava.

"Are you_ okay_, Hiei?" Botan asked from across the table.

The demon heaved a heavy sigh, then tightly gripped Yusuke's hand, which was previously resting unbroken on the booth under the table. He glared at him, and stated in a very low and clear voice, "Don't you ever give that to me again." After seeing the disfigurement in Yusuke's face, he slowly lightened his grasp.

"Sorry," the boy apologized, resisting another urge to maul the person next to him. Botan kicked him under the table, claiming that her foot 'slipped', though it was really because she noticed how strange the interaction was between the two across from her was.

The rest of the meal continued on like that. Everyone enjoyed their meal, even Hiei, who thanked the detective for his good choice of dinner by actually eating it. The entire time, Kuwabara was being kicked by Yusuke for every height-joke made at the demon's expense, and Botan kicked Yusuke for every non-Keiko loving moment he had. The two boys ended up having severely bruised shins at the end of the dinner.

* * *

"Why the hell do you keep on limping like that?" Hiei asked Yusuke. They were a few steps away from entering Yusuke's apartment.

"Um, Botan kept kicking me, that's why," Yusuke replied sarcastically. He stopped as he went to turn the knob of the door to ask, "So…I'm glad you liked that."

"The food?" Hiei pondered. Of course, silly demon. What else could Yusuke be referring to…?

"Dinner," Yusuke played back. "Uh…Can I ask you something?"

"Aren't you always asking me questions, Detective?"

Yusuke twitched his raven eyebrows and gave Hiei an evil glare (which could contend with that of the Jagan eye). He proceeded to ask anyway. "What did you eat before I made you food?"

"If I told you then you wouldn't eat for an entire week." Yusuke cringed at the thought of what could make him lose his appetite for a week (an assortment of dead demon parts and squirrel muscles wasn't exactly a dessert platter to him).

Yusuke shrugged the thought away and made a move to unlock the door to the apartment. Luckily for him, the door was already open. Hiei had vanished. Atsuko was home, for once!

"Hi, Yusuke," his mother said as he stepped inside and removed his shoes. He was amazed at the amount of groceries and other so called 'goodies' that littered the kitchen. He set down his bag and greeted his mother.

"Wow, Mom," Yusuke remarked, helping her put away the items like a good son, "where'd ya get all this money?"

"A little from work, a little from Nenosuke," she answered.

"Wow, candy!" Yusuke exclaimed as he sifted through one of the bags. There was strawberry licorice, chocolates, sour gummies, hard fruit candies, and other miscellaneous sweets.

"Yeah, Neno thought I should get ya something since we go out a lot," Atsuko replied, lighting a cigarette. "Did you know he has a son, Yusuke?"

"No, so?" Yusuke was already anxiously putting the rest of the goods away, and stumbled upon a bunch of junkfood (among some nice microwaveable goods and rice).

"So…he's not the same age as you, but I thought that you should know." She exhaled a cloud of smoke.

"So I guess that means we're moving, huh?" the boy sighed. He just hoped that it wasn't out of the boundaries of the city.

"Maybe, maybe not," she said, "so don't think about it. What I want to know is whether or not you've been going to school." Yusuke opened his mouth to answer, but she interrupted with, "And don't lie."

"I went to school. I even did a project with Keiko," the teen stated.

"Ooh, Keiko," his mother smirked. "You better not have done anything that I wouldn't have done!" Yusuke jumped back at the sudden shout directed at him.

"Eer, no…though if I had done what _you_ did when you were about my age, then there'd be little Yusuke's running around." He laughed at his own joke, but was smacked by his mom (more playfully than disciplinary).

"Shut up, kid," she laughed. She put out the butt of her cigarette and told him, "I'm going back out, but I'll be at Nenosuke's apartment. The number's taped to the fridge. We're going house hunting this week, so you better keep going to school." Yusuke assured her that there was nothing to worry about. Five minutes later, the items were put away, and Atsuko left when Nenosuke came to the door to get her.

"What a surprise," Hiei said, entering through the window as usual, "you're home alone again." Yusuke sighed, it wasn't as if he could make good use of his alone time. At the least Hiei had forgotten about the fighting after dinner (which Yusuke never gave a firm reply to).

"Now we can fight." Or maybe not.

"Hey, I never said that I was going to fight you!" Yusuke shouted. He rubbed his hand, it still sort of hurt from when Hiei nearly broke it in the restaurant.

"I went to dinner with you for nothing?" Hiei said, exasperated. That wasn't the full reason, but Yusuke didn't need that knowledge in his head.

"Ya got to eat, didn't you?" Yusuke argued back. Sometimes…Hiei just…was a pain in the ass! But he fought him anyway. A fifteen minute battle on the roof of the building, devoid of any spirit guns, swords, or soul eating dragons from the pits of Hell. A good (semi-clean) martial arts battle. It was a draw.

"There, are ya happy?" Yusuke asked him as they re-entered the apartment.

"Hn."

"Ya look better without the bruises, man," the taller one teased.

"Why must you always go back to those same worthless insults about my looks?" The teasing was getting to him. He hardly ever initiated it unless provoked.

"I was just kidding, sheesh," the detective answered, going into a closet and retrieving two towels. He tossed one to Hiei and said, "I told you that you weren't ugly."

"No, you didn't," Hiei retorted. Everyone hated him

"Uh, yes, I did," Yusuke recalled. "In fact, I think it's when you got that cold a few weeks ago!"

Why did the boy always have to find fault in him? He was just hopping on the bandwagon that all three worlds already were on. What was next, bringing up what happened a few days earlier? The event aptly named 'Stupid Idea'? Oh, he wished that another Stupid Idea would occur, but the Detective clearly wasn't into him.

Clearly.

Hazily.

Opaque-ly (the word ranks up there with pissitivity).

So he figured that maybe there was a _slight_ chance that Yusuke would be into him. But would he accept something so strange? Maybe not, but then again, the entire time some sort of 'relationship' would go on, Hiei himself would not be able to cope with the arrangements. Demon slash bad guy thwarting human plus human hating outcast demon? There are too many possible solutions (such as: impossible, strange, detestable) to think about.

Oh, yeah. Plus the fact that Hiei didn't care about anyone except Yukina (…riiight…).

"You're spacing out, man. Why dontcha come over here and try some of this?" Hiei glanced over to find his infatuation seated on the sofa, surrounded by bags of human food, and watching one of his…videos.

"What is that?" Hiei asked, graciously accepting Yusuke's offer.

"It's candy, eat some," Yusuke said, plopping a bag of mixed hard candies into Hiei's lap. He picked it up curiously, and unwrapped it. It was a red and white peppermint. He popped it into his mouth and was overcome with feelings of joy. Sugar was absolutely the best thing on the face of the planet, but he never imagined it would be _that_ good!

Hiei quickly grabbed another piece of candy and ate it. It was _divine_ (the video wasn't that bad either).

"How do they do that? I don't think that the elder Toguro could have done something so contorted," Hiei remarked, rather out of character.

"Practice." Yusuke sucked on a string of licorice, wishing that he could practice something like that (the way in which he was treating the sweet was definitely not some sort of inference either…).

"What is this human obsession with the neck? Are you all vampritic parasites or do you eat your mates like spiders?"

After scrunching his nose from the peculiar question (potential wrinkle number three hundred), Yusuke remarked, "Vampritic? Or Vampiric?"

"Hn. Whatever."

"It feels good. There's not blood sucking or whatever, unless you're one of those weirdos whose into the whole vampirism thing." He turned on his side to see Hiei covered in about ten candy wrappers and questioned, "Didn't Kurama do stuff to your neck?"

"It didn't feel good." Not anything remotely close to the pleasure he was watching on the screen.

"Well, he was just being a jerk anyway for show." Yusuke smirked, thinking of a way to indirectly come up with a Stupid Idea. He gave up, as it was too much work to think, eat candy, and watch porn at the same time. Instead, he opted for this: "At the risk of getting murdered, can I do something?"

"What could you possibly do that could get you murd…" He paused, his words suspended by the tingle his neck was feeling. The detective was gently tickling a trail with his fingers between the back of Hiei's ear and his throat.

"Th…that's not funny…" Hiei stuttered.

"Not to you, maybe," Yusuke joked, leaning back into the couch.

"I should kill you," Hiei muttered, unwrapping a piece of strawberry filled candy.

"Hey, I said 'at the risk of being murdered,' didn't I?" Yusuke noted. "So go ahead."

"It didn't feel like anything anyway, who cares," Hiei lied. He couldn't deny it to himself. That tickling sensation felt _great_.

"Yeah, right!" Yusuke yelled, "I'll show you!" Within seconds, Yusuke was working at the right side of Hiei's neck with his mouth and the left side with his fingers. It was twenty-five percent driven by his recently acquired lust for the demon, and one-hundred ten percent driven by his desire to show Hiei up (Yusuke's not that good at math).

"Uhnn…Yuuss…" Hiei moaned. He gripped tightly onto the cloth of the boy's shirt, hoping that he wouldn't fall over backwards. He had to put a stop to it before it went any further (Hiei figured that _he_ would be the one to ease up and give in). He uttered one last time, " Yusuke…st…stop…" Flushed, angry, and strangely aroused, Hiei found himself released from the boy's hold and breathing once again.

Stumbling over words, trying to find the best ones to shout out, the frustrated demon finally let out, "Stupid!" He settled down, grabbing a handful of the sour gummies, and pouted. He glanced down in his lap and suddenly wished that he had his cloak.

"I'm stupid? I think _you're_ the one that was just proved wrong!" Yusuke retorted.

"I'm leaving," the demon announced.

"Go right ahead," Yusuke grinned.

"I will," Hiei threatened. He didn't move.

"Ooh, I thought you were leaving, Mister Tough Guy!" the detective taunted. Inwardly, he was happy. The more Hiei opened up to him, the more fun they had (though the video wasn't really placing healthy ideas inside the boy's head).

"After I wake up," Hiei sulked childishly. He figured that if he fell asleep that certain things would be less noticeable. He pushed away the candy and rested his head on Yusuke's lap (any outsider would have seen the obvious attraction, but these were just two stupid guys). The blue blanket from a few nights ago was still resting over the back of the couch, so Yusuke snagged it and draped it over Hiei, who had his eyes closed, but wasn't asleep.

Yusuke clicked on the remote and flipped the naughty movie off, changing the channel to watch whatever random show was on. He placed his arm around the demon in his lap, interlacing his fingers with those that peeked out from under the blankets. Wondering how long the two of them were going to avoid the apparent issue, he smiled when Hiei brought the hand in closer to his body. _He's in such denial_, he thought.

"How come you won't let the others see you like this?" he uttered in a soft tone.

"They don't need to," Hiei mildly murmured.

"Are you really that tired of their insults, Hiei?" The strange spiky hair in his lap was poking through some of the fabric of his shirt. Yusuke had to hold back a laugh from the tickle.

"Right now I'm just tired, so feel free to shut up," Hiei barked (or whimpered if one considers whispering a bark to be anything).

"Hey, it's that episode where the manga left off," Yusuke pointed to the TV screen.

"What are you blabbering about?" the demon queried, opening his eyes slightly.

"That manga you were reading. The one you told me to go get more of," Yusuke reminded him.

"Oh. I read that already." Hiei closed his eyes again. He cursed at himself; was it really wise of him to admit to another crime he committed?

"How'd ya read it?" Yusuke asked. He thought about it for a moment, then scolded, "Hiei! You want to get in trouble again?"

"Who cares," the demon grumbled. "You steal stuff. I steal stuff. I've taken plenty of things from this naïve city that Koenma doesn't even know about. Nor does he need to."

"Just don't get caught."

"The only reason I _was_ caught was because that ridiculous baby has some sort of fetish for demon relationships." It was true. Koenma would never find his hoard of goods. If Hiei bothered to get involved in the human ways of buying and selling, he would be the richest among the bunch. He planned on giving the diamond necklaces to Yukina some day, and the sword collection was for his own personal use. The snowglobes and piccolos he just found amusing to look at. There was nothing like turning a tiny world upside down and changing the weather with a small and violent shake for pleasure.

_To Be Continued..._

* * *

A big thanks to:

Kurama-sweethart, cinnamonkit15, Yoko's Babby, HottieKarasu, Averon, Hieis/Kuramas-Angel, Sorry Im Me, Little Sakura 87, Skittles the Sugar Fairy, FluffysBijin05, sakurasango, always/a/dreamer, Vflames, InuAngl, danceDANCEdance, RR, Tsuname, HieiWannabe, ShadowDragon, Kittengrl39, Parariillusion, Umi no Oni, and Black Angel of Destruction.

**Update to author's note:** Going through this fic a few years later, I can't believe I wrote it. I hardly remember what happened, and I find myself getting absorbed into it, instead of editing. That being said, can I now say, "Wow! Kurama is quite out of character." I realized that at some point, I know I was trying to parody other fanfics (mainly Hiei-Kurama ones since at the time of this writing, a good one was really, really, really hard to find). But I can't quite remember if Kurama's OOC-ness was a result of the parody, or just an oversight.

One thing I do remember though, is that at this point, I hadn't seen the rest of the series (I believe I was in the midst of Chapter Black). So keep that in mind when reading!

-Zelia Theb


	7. Sigh!

One more chapter after this. I apologize right now for the overabundance of personified objects and phrases, but hey, that's the type of humour fic this is! Anyway, seeing as there is only one more chapter after this (and I think it's a short one too), you can pretty much guess what's going to happen in this one; so feel free not to fly through it!

Again, leave a review please! I see lots of people added me to their faves list, or author alerts, but no reviews! I'd like to know how I'm doing. But please, for the love of the Universe, do not leave me a spoiler review. I've seen the whole series now, and while I -have- discovered that most fanfictions are clearly wrong with their own facts, I'm not going to go around and leave spoiler reviews for anyone. Ya never know who just might click on a review to read it just to test the waters of a story first anyway.

Anyway, enjoy! Truly a bizarre chapter.

**-- This Chapter was updated 9-1-2008 --**

* * *

Huminshou

By Zelia Theb

Disclaimer: _Yu Yu Hakusho_ is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.

* * *

"Gee, I wonder what this joker's gonna look like," Yusuke grumbled. He and Kuwabara were heading toward a random destination in some huge forest some place in Japan, looking for the demon culprit which would solve another case for Spirit World.

"Prolly pretty ugly," Kuwabara remarked. They were still in their school uniforms, as usual.

"That was one of those _rhetorical questions_, stupid," Yusuke muttered.

"Yeah, I shouldn't go judging some scumbag right off," Kuwabara figured, "because Yukina isn't a human and she sure is pretty!" The kid then proceeded to ramble on about he and Yukina, discussing how they were going to find her brother and invite him to their wedding. He even plagued Yusuke's ears with a list of names he picked for their children.

"Do you ever shut up?"

"I knew I felt a chill up my spine," Kuwabara teased, watching Hiei jump down from a tree, landing right next to Yusuke.

"Your fear is worthless to me," Hiei stated coldly.

"Hey! Why don't you say that to my face, half-pint!" the spirit-swordsman shouted, clenching a tight yet non-threatening (to Hiei) fist. He started laughing then added, "Oh yeah, I forgot. You're too short to say _anything_ to my fa…Ow! What was that for!?" Yusuke had kicked him in the back of his legs, causing him to fall and hurt himself.

"Your fear is worthless to me," Hiei said, staring Kuwabara right in the face (as the kid was on his knees from the tumble).

"Why are you here, Hiei?" the other boy asked.

"Hn. Boredom." There was some truth to that statement. He had spent every night of the past twelve days at the detective's apartment. After breakfast (if he decided to eat at all) he would take off to train (train, hop around the trees, slice stuff up, same thing). The unrevealed reason was that he also wanted to keep an eye out for Yusuke. _He_ was coming on this mission…

"And we're here to cheer!" Botan shouted, blasting everyone's eardrums out with the sheer giddiness of the exclamation.

"Well, to be more exact, she's here to cheer and I am here to fight," Kurama corrected. He was still in his school uniform as well.

Thus, the whole gang was there, and ready for the impending action.

* * *

Kuwabara was the first to go down. He was being tended to by Botan on the sidelines. Kurama had managed to get himself stabbed in the stomach _again_, so he was also being a weakling along with Kuwabara. It was down to Hiei and Yusuke.

"You know, you boys should really stop taking turns, especially on single opponents," Botan said, her hands hovering over Kuwabara. After Kurama protested such a silly idea, she counter-attacked with all the ways in which multiple targets could reduce injuries and that different attacks could weaken an enemy faster. The intelligent redhead was stumped. She had a point.

The large and rather disgusting demon beast that they were fighting was busy cackling at Hiei, who was having a difficult time finding a chance to land an attack on his enemy. A large claw soon dug into the smaller demon, prompting Yusuke to deliver a nice blast from his Spirit Gun. The blast rendered the beast motionless, and without much energy left; however, it still stood back up on its feet once more.

Everyone, including the demon (who had heard of the events at the Dark Tournament) rolled their eyes when Hiei began unwrapping the ward guarding his ultimate power. At least he had gone more fashionable with it's look lately; black wrappings that almost looked like gothic arm sleeves. No one questioned the change when it occurred a few months earlier.

The Dragon made quick work of their enemy, and they all cheered. However, Hiei passed out (as usual), and it was too late to head back to a town and catch a train. They had to camp out for the night, and heal by themselves. Botan of course, had her own sleeping bag. Everyone else had to sleep on the grass.

Being the only one capable of carrying him anyway, Yusuke took on the job of carrying the injured and unconscious demon. He was resting with his back against the trunk of a very thick tree a few yards away from a campfire that the other three had started. They were already feeling back to normal, and were even roasting marshmallows (Kuwabara had brought those, insisting that one never knew when they'd need to have an impromptu camp-out).

It was no surprise to him that he hadn't just ditched Hiei in the grass. Yusuke coddled him after draping his cloak back around him for warmth (it was only a little dirty, because Hiei almost always insisted on giving his opponents a strip tease before fighting them). Upon looking to see where the other three had their attention diverted to, he cautiously struck the side of Hiei's face with his lips, then slowly pulled away to find that Hiei opened his eyes to the touch.

The demon wasn't entirely aware, though.

"Feeling better?" the teen asked, his own eyes dangerously close to the crimson ones.

"I'm fine," Hiei responded, gazing over to the fire. "What are they doing?"

"Roasting marshmallows," Yusuke whispered, hoping that the other three wouldn't notice Hiei was awake. If they saw, the two of them would never hear the end of it, and it was clear that the demon did not want to move from his place.

"Smells good," Hiei uttered. Like sweet, sweet, candy. He briefly recalled how disappointed Yusuke was with him eleven days ago. Hiei had woken up before the boy that morning and cleared off the rest of the candy.

Yusuke smiled, noticing a smudge of dirt on Hiei's jaw. He wiped it off with his thumb, and Hiei did not bother to cringe away, but instead rested his head back on his body. Yusuke was just going to go for it, he couldn't take it anymore. They needed to talk about what they both knew but refused to speak of.

"Hiei, why do you let me hold you like this, and no one else?"

"I trust you." Hiei listened to how deep his voice sounded as it resonated through the detective's chest. Every flame inside of him wished that the others were gone, or at least fast asleep. Instead, they were laughing it up in the middle of a forest (at least they paid no mind to the two against the tree).

"Then why do you let me touch you like this." He stroked the side of the demon's neck in the same fashion he had the night they walked Keiko home. "And like this." Yusuke then kissed the side of Hiei's face again.

Hiei could not answer. Not with everyone so nearby, not even in words. He could not bring himself to admit it out loud. Not verbally. Hiei didn't admit he liked things, let alone people. Additionally, the shivers of the demonstrated touches were making it harder to speak.

"D…don't look at me like that," the demon said, his voice somewhat trembling due to the piercing lock that Yusuke's eyes had on him.

"Okay," the affectionate boy obeyed, holding Hiei back into him. He found his fingers intermingled in the startling silky non-human hair. The scent of honey, despite their fight today, was very strong in the deep indigo locks of hair.

"I never really noticed that your hair is actually a really dark blue," Yusuke remarked, having thought that Hiei had black hair like his (aside from that strange white starburst).

"You must have good night-vision, Yusuke," Hiei whispered nearly in his ear. He wasn't entirely too sure if that was a compliment, or what.

"The moon's full, and it's right here in front of me."

"The moon?"

Yusuke chuckled as silently as he could (as to not arouse suspicion). He found Hiei's sense of humor to be rather…he _found_ Hiei's sense of humor, period. He responded, "No, your hair is, and it smells nice, too."

"Hn," Hiei complained, blushing from the conversation but happy that Yusuke couldn't really see his entire face. "What are you going to say now, that it's just like your mother's hair? That I've been sharing a bottle of that…whatever that stuff is, with her the whole time?"

"No, only you've used that one, 'cause I got it just for you," Yusuke admitted.

"You stole hair soap for me."

"I never said I stole it!"

"Yusuke! Would you like a marshmallow?" Kurama called, not bothering to look at the boy behind him. "There's not that many left…" To hold up the charade, Hiei immediately fell 'unconscious,' hoping that he could fool everyone.

"Sure…Gimme two then," Yusuke yelled back. He watched as Kurama stood from his grassy seat, holding a stick with two golden roasted marshmallows on it, and walked over to where he was.

"Here you are," Kurama said, bending down easily (so much that if it weren't for the bloodstain on his clothing you wouldn't even know the guy was stabbed in the stomach) and handing his crush the toasted treats.

"Thanks man," Yusuke remarked. Kurama beamed a smile at him then returned to an apparent story telling time with Kuwabara and Botan around the fire. He carefully removed the first puff in line and touched it gingerly to Hiei's lips. He knew that the demon would have a fit if he wasn't able to have any sugar, but that wasn't the only reason. He _was_ a nice guy!

Hiei slowly consumed the marshmallow as Yusuke held it, not saying a word after he finished. Yusuke went to pull the second one off the stick, but Hiei stopped him, and reached for it first, holding the pillow of sugar between his thumb and two fingers.

"You can have it if you want it," Yusuke offered. Instead, Hiei returned the favor and held the marshmallow up to _Yusuke's_ mouth. He ate it at a languid pace, his gaze not breaking from Hiei's, except when he closed his eyes to take another bite. He didn't stop at the marshmallow, either. He took it upon himself to move things along and suck whatever sugar was left on Hiei's fingers. He could be quite the sensual romantic if given the chance to be, if say, people could look past the urge to slap him and all.

Upon allowing Hiei's finger to escape the clutches of his mouth, Yusuke thought about what to do next. He wanted to know how Hiei truly felt, or rather, have a confirmation. The demon had let Kurama do somewhat similar things to him, so in what ways was Yusuke different? He knew for certain that Hiei didn't do hand-feeding as his life's career, but he yearned for another answer. He was ready to send the doubts off without their safety gear this time around.

He noticed that once again, the demon had returned to his pseudo-slumber state, except there was a noticeable tremble in Hiei's body.

"You're trembling, Hiei."

"I'm cold," Hiei lied. Weather and allergies: the best excuses ever made. He would have to prepare the latter if the water in his eye insisted on falling out and soaking Yusuke's shirt, or worse, streaking down the side of his cheek. See, the water would be to blame, not Hiei. Hiei shed no tears. Well, there was that one time a few months ago when he finally found the rare _AND_ limited edition 'Dinosaur's Christmas in Tokyo' snowglobe, but those were tears of joy (just like the fugitive pools of water in his eyes were).

"I'm gonna ask ya again," Yusuke informed him, rubbing his back through the cloak in an attempt to keep him warm. He took a deep breath and asked, "Why do you let me touch you like this?"

Hiei responded by reaching into the cloak wrapped around his body and pulling out an all too familiar piece of somewhat crumpled paper, then handed it to Yusuke. It was the best way to avoid any sort of heart-rending conversation.

After scrutinizing the picture, Yusuke handed it back to Hiei, and muttered, "I see. I'm glad that I could at least help you with the insomnia." He was serious with his words.

A scowl glazed over Hiei's face. He was annoyed. It was perfectly clear what he was communicating to Yusuke, but the ignorant boy was unable to put all of the numbers together. Instead of seeing the fact that Hiei insisted on keeping the incriminating picture, he actually saw what was going on in the picture. This always happened to him. No one would ever understand what he meant, they'd make fun of him and call his words cryptic. Hiei was always _very_ clear, wasn't he? (No, he wasn't.)

"Hn. Stupid human."

"Huh?" There he was, trying to be the nice guy, letting Hiei crash on his body, feeding him marshmallows, and being overly affectionate to him, and what does he get in return? A 'Stupid hu…' eer, a tongue in his mouth.

Hiei's, to be exact. So technically, two tongues (though Koenma often wished that Yusuke had no tongue at all).

The doubts made their daring and final jump, waving at the fugitive tears that were falling beside them. They were soon killed from the crushing force of Yusuke's body, which had shifted to accommodate the sudden flare in passion between he and Hiei. Not only were their tongues twisting and touching, but Hiei had made it a point to suck on Yusuke's tongue (he picked that tip up from a viewing session at the detective's apartment), and Yusuke returned the favor by introducing Hiei to gentle nibbles aimed at lips.

His self-conscious awakened, and Hiei swiftly pulled away from the liplock. He noted the dimness of the fire, and that Botan was laying down in the sleeping bag, sleepily listening to a rather amusing story from the 'lump.' The triad's attention was elsewhere. Meanwhile, Yusuke had continued his lesson from a few nights ago, but was failing to get Hiei's attention.

"_Hiei…_"

The addressed one blinked, then stated, "Take me, Yusuke."

The boldness of such a request was completely lost on the boy. He perked his head up and questioned, "What? Ya gotta pee or somethin'?" He wondered why Hiei couldn't just get up and go by himself, unless…he was self-conscious about the others hearing him. Yes, that must be it!

"I said…" Hiei grumbled, wondering how lucid a repetition would actually be, "_t__ake me._"

"Take you? Where?"

Hiei now had a taste of what Yusuke's face had been going through since the beginning of their whole ordeal together. Once again, he would have to show him through actions. The old cliché "actions speak louder than words" was actually a phrase that originated in the Demon World.

Without grasping what was going on (literally), Yusuke lost sight of Hiei, who had disappeared off into the forest, managing to take his cloak with him. He got to his feet, ready to chase after him. Wasn't he the one that was supposed to take Hiei somewhere? Why did it seem like the other way around?

"Urameshi, where ya going?" a hoarse voice asked, stopping Yusuke's feet. The detective turned toward Kuwabara, who continued after stretching his legs. "Where the heck's Hiei?"

"He…" Yusuke fumbled for something that Hiei wouldn't kill him for, "had to take a wicked piss, plus he's mad at me for…helping him out, so he took off."

"Whatta jerk," his friend mumbled.

"Yeah well, after having an ungrateful guy on me all day," Yusuke paused, hoping that Kuwabara didn't take that the wrong way, "I sorta gotta drain the lizard too. Maybe I'll look for him after."

"Yusuke…" Botan yawned, "that's rather vulgar."

"I'll come with you," Kurama suggested, correcting himself before the pause after his statement was too long. "To find Hiei, that is."

"Naw, don't worry," Yusuke shrugged him off. He waved and walked away, hoping that he hadn't lost Hiei. When he was out of his teammates sights, he burst into a run. After only four minutes of the heavy jogging, he stopped to catch a breath.

"Heeee-yay!" Yusuke called out. It didn't take long to get an answer; the runaway was directly in front of him. He was then enveloped by another kiss, leading them to kneel on the grass.

"I was beginning to think that you wouldn't follow," Hiei uttered as they took a breath. He had no idea what had come over him, but it was relieving to get whatever that was out of his system.

"You said to take you somewhere, so I had to know where you wanted to go." Hiei smacked his forehead, which was perfectly safe for the Jagan eye, as the ward protected it.

"What?"

"I didn't want to go anywhere!" Hiei scowled. It didn't have the same effect as usual, due to the fact that he was sitting on Yusuke's knees in his lap.

"So why did ya run off?"

"To get away from _them_, Yusuke," the anxious demon answered coldly. "I don't exactly take you for an exhibitionist." Yusuke answered with a confused look. Hiei sighed, it was no use. He allowed Yusuke to begin kissing him again, waiting for the right moment to repeat the words. Yes, repeat the _very same words_ that had confused the boy to begin with. Third time's a charm, right?

This time he made sure that they would not be misunderstood. He had to ignore his fear (yes, fear) and take the initiative. As he slid a single finger over the green fabric covering Yusuke's chest, Hiei pulled away and whispered (once more) into the boy's ear, "Take me, Yusuke." He swore that if there was one more inkling of the kid not being a good detective he was going to strangle him (and then possibly mourn over the fact that he killed the guy off before he got what he wanted).

"What do you mea…" Hiei pushed his way in between the end of the word and the end of the sentence by making sure Yusuke couldn't speak. He kissed him more furiously now, devouring his tongue as his finger took hold of the waistband of Yusuke's uniform.

Yusuke breathed once he was allowed to (strangle…suffocate, same thing). The actual meaning of 'take me' had just bit him hard, along with Hiei, who he could swear was trying to draw blood from his neck. A strong prayer that wished all demon's didn't have a libido that rivaled Kurama's was sent up to the heavens, but unfortunately they laughed at him, wishing him good luck because the Universe wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily.

"Damn, Hi…Ei," Yusuke voice jumped from the sudden surge through his neck. "Are you sure you wanna do that?" Hiei hated being interrupted to speak, so he threatened to tear the buttons off of the green jacket with his finger. Yusuke protested, "So soon? I mean, it's like those fan comic doujinshi things!"

Hiei gave up for the moment. He rolled his eyes and asked, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know. It's like manga but other people make them."

"Hn. One human writes and illustrates every single comic book ever made in existence. I should meet them and ask them to join my army." Hiei's tone was sarcastic, but moreso than usual.

"No, I mean the fans use the manga characters and then make up their own stories…eer never mind!" Yusuke grumbled, "Basically, really hard-core fan comics show two people who would never get together ever or something and like two frames later they're bangin' each other's brains out."

"I didn't say that I wanted you to spill my brains," Hiei informed him. "And how do you know about things like that?"

Yusuke's eyes shifted shadily. He looked to the side and remarked, "Oh, no reason. I've never actually read one before…"

"Don't lie. You have a stack next to that television in your bedroom."

"And how do _YOU_ know that, hmm Hiei?" the boy retorted accusingly. Silence.

"I don't care about those things," Hiei stated, changing the topic from exotic comics to physical smooching.

After discovering that his jacket and the top of his pants were undone, Yusuke jerked away again and squeaked, "But what if you're a screamer! Are you a screamer?" He was seriously starting to freak out. It wasn't as if he didn't _want_ to do it. He had just never done it with a guy before, nor had he ever thought of doing anything to any guys about a year ago, well, not of this caliber. He was nervous and extremely stressed out by the abrupt change in Hiei's personality.

"Grr…I don't know, and who cares!" Hiei growled. He tried to go in for another 'attack,' yet was stopped by Yusuke's hands on his shoulders.

"I care! What if someone hears us?!" The boy shook Hiei roughly, as if believing that answers would pop out of his ears.

"We aren't near them anymore! That's why I moved!" Hiei explained, utterly frustrated.

"But they're only a two minute run away and…"

"It's a damn forest, Detective!" Hiei yelled. "Who _CARES_. You're _ruining_ the romance!"

A burst of laughter forced its way out of Yusuke's body. He pointed out, "Did you just say_ romance_, Hiei?" Yusuke wished that he had a camcorder, for obvious reasons. He also wished that he had a tape recorder so that he could have taped the words himself.

"Uh…uh…. No!" Hiei faltered, "I said 'row pants,' idiot."

"So I'm ruining the row pants."

"Yes."

"Really."

"Hn."

* * *

The row pants were not ruined. In fact, they were strewn in the grass along with other various articles of clothing that night. Unfortunately for them, they were left behind when the two got dressed an hour afterwards due to the chilly temperature. The only items that were 'ruined' was Yusuke's green jacket, which was crumpled up into a ball underneath his head, and Hiei's cloak, which the two had slept on.

This time, both of them woke up to the clicking sound of a camera. Though it was morning, and they were still a bit groggy, Yusuke held Hiei down firmly, knowing full well that Botan would soon have to escort herself to Spirit World if he didn't.

"Botan! What the hell!" Yusuke screamed at her.

"Well, we've all been out looking for you this morning!" Botan explained. "Plus, I lost that other picture I had of you two!"

"You're going to die, Botan," Hiei warned. "I'd be careful not to turn your back to me if I were you."

"Well, unless you want your little insomnia secret out, _Hiei_, I suggest that you two get up before Kurama and Kuwabara catch up to me!" The shortest one scowled at the girl. She glared right back at him and added, "If that _is_ the reason why you two didn't want to sleep near us last night…"

"If you're insinuating what I think you are, you should consider hiring yourself a bodyguard," Hiei threatened the apparition again. "There is no reason I would want to lower myself to consort with a _human_, fool." Yusuke was hurt. Deeply hurt. Sure, Hiei was just lying to cover up the fact that they had… done… that… last night, he just wondered how the guy could lie so _easily_ about something that he was the most adamant about doing. Either way, Hiei was the first one to get to his feet, and Yusuke was the first one to stumble on them after Hiei tugged at his cloak (which Yusuke had stood up on).

"Well _someone's_ pissitivity is certainly high today," the girl noted.

"There you guys are!" Kuwabara called, emerging from the forest with Kurama.

"You never returned last night, Yusuke…" Kurama said, stating the obvious.

"It turns out the demon had some other minions around!" Botan burst in, lying for the two of them despite her anger, "and they finished them off while we were asleep!"

"Oh, wow guys, and all while we were sleepin'? That's pretty cool of you two," Kuwabara commented.

"Yeah, well, you know," Yusuke stammered, ruffling the hair on the back of his head. "Yusuke saves the day again!" Hiei grunted for a dramatic effect.

"Well, let's head home, shall we?" the oldest boy suggested.

_To Be Continued..._

* * *

_Author's Note_

Yes, they did it. Might seem soon to a few, but reasons which aren't obvious are explained in the story anyway. One more chapter, as I've said, then on to work on Chapter 2 of the sequel.

A big thanks for all the reviews!

-Zelia


	8. Ack!

**-- This Chapter was updated 9-2-2008 --**

* * *

**Huminshou**

By Zelia Theb

Disclaimer: _Yu Yu Hakusho_ is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.

* * *

Yusuke racked the cupboards of the kitchen, searching for something to make for breakfast. He was wearing black sweatpants, because he had neglected to do laundry for quite a few days. After washing up he had taken all of the laundry to the basement, hoping that after he made breakfast some clothing would be available. Hiei was left with nothing; Yusuke didn't want to take any chances and just took everything off of his floor.

It was the morning after their second night of… whatever they wanted to call it. Yusuke still couldn't believe it himself; he never thought that everything would come to the surface and work out. He was actually surprised that Hiei didn't spaz out and go crazy in denial.

Knock knock knock. Yusuke went to his door, pondering how his apartment had become the most popular place in the city over the past few weeks, and opened it up to see the Kuwabara siblings.

"This is…odd."

"Let us in, Urameshi!" the taller boy said, pushing his way into the place and seating himself on the sofa. Shizuru lit up a cigarette, watching Yusuke drool as she inhaled.

"So why are you…"

"Baby bro said that you didn't go to school today, so we came over to find out why," Shizuru explained. Okay, so it was more like dinnertime, but Yusuke had just gotten out of bed…

"Yeah, Keiko was mad because you've been doin' so good lately, and for some reason Botan insisted that I come over and find out what was wrong," Kuwabara said. "She seemed pretty mad at you and I know Botan, she doesn't get mad that often."

The door to Yusuke's bedroom opened slightly, and the corner of a bedsheet poked itself out into view quickly. The door quickly closed. The elder Kuwabara offered Yusuke a cigarette, lighting it and all for him, then remarked, "Seems like she's mad that you're breaking Keiko's heart." Yusuke choked, not because of the suggestive words, but because he hadn't had a smoke in a long time.

"Urameshi! What did you do?!" Kuwabara began flailing his arms wildly at the shirtless boy, asking various follow up questions which were all synonymous with each other.

"I didn't do anything!" Yusuke lied nervously. The bedsheet had gotten stuck in the door, and was trying to wiggle itself out.

"That's why you didn't go to school! You're seeing someone else! You don't have the balls to face Keiko!" the taller one accused him. "You've even got a love bite on your collarbone! Man, Urameshi, where'd ya find a girl that wasn't afraid of ya?" He brought his hand up to his chin and mused, "Well since we found out, I guess I don't gotta be here anymore. Catch ya later, Urameshi!" He slipped his shoes back on to leave, but not before he added, "Oh and, expect me to pound ya later for this! My kitty has a vet appointment so I gotta go!"

Shizuru raised an eyebrow. She was evil; Yusuke was starting to think that she was sent by the Universe to catch him. She smirked and said, "So, _Yusuke_, I didn't take you for a demon lover." Yusuke choked again. Same reason.

"What are you talking about?" She answered him by freeing the sheet from the hold the door had on it and revealing a naked Hiei who was trying his hardest to be sneaky by tugging at the sheet that he was wrapped in. Yusuke almost dropped his smoke. "Oh. Um, yeah."

"Tch," Hiei scoffed, emerging from the room still wrapped in the sheet. "If you…"

"Tell anyone, you'll kill me. Yeah yeah," Shizuru shrugged the threat off. "It'll be you guys that tell everyone anyway. It was so obvious the last time I saw you, I can't imagine how bad it's gotten since then."

"We were obvious," Hiei scoffed, taking a seat on Yusuke's lap (the boy had just sat on the couch in defeat), "yet Kurama's persistent come-ons to the Detective were unnoticed? This is absurd."

"I didn't say that his weren't," the brunette shot back, "but Yusuke didn't return them."

"Fine, whatever. You can leave now."

"No need to get your sheets up in a bunch, kiddo," Shizuru said to Hiei, "I just felt like being observant. I'll leave you two alone." She kept her word. Hiei's face was scrunched up angrily. Kiddo? _KIDDO?_

"Hn. Where are all the clothes."

"Getting washed, Hiei," Yusuke answered. "Why are you complaining?"

Hiei smiled and straddled the boy. "I'm _not_ complaining."

"Did you just smile?" Yusuke questioned, a smile coming to his own face at the thought of Hiei being _happy_ for once in his lifetime. He allowed his hands to explore underneath the sheets. The demon smiled again instead of replying and kissed him, starting another strange and unexplainable session of sensual groping and passion.

Meanwhile…

"Oh, hey Keiko! What's up Botan?" Kuwabara called as he descended a flight of stairs, crossing paths with Yusuke's friend and the apparition.

"So was Yusuke home guys?" Keiko asked. Her brown hair was long enough to tie back, and she had done just that, tying it into two low pigtails.

"Yeah, he's a big jerkface though, so I wouldn't talk to him."

"Oh, we'll talk to him alright! Come on Keiko!" Botan yelled in the stairwell, grabbing the girl's wrist firmly and racing up the steps. They bumped into Shizuru on the floor Yusuke lived on, who was about to make her own way down the stairs.

"Uh, hey girls, where are you going?" Shizuru asked nervously, knowing full well of the events that transpired last night.

"They're going to Urameshi's to yell at him! And I wanna see it!" her little brother announced.

"What about your 'kitty-cat,' baby bro?" She flicked some ashes off the end of her burning cigarette.

"Oh, that thing's not 'till tomorrow, I just didn't feel like staying there anymore," Kuwabara explained. "Everytime I go there lately I get this creepy vibe." She rolled her eyes at her sibling. He really was dumb.

"_Creepy vibe_, huh?!" Botan growled. "Let's go!" She continued to drag the shortest brunette down the hall, and the Kuwabara's followed.

"Guys, I'm not sure that's such a good idea…" Shizuru protested. Botan pounded on the door, and there was no answer. Keiko tried her hand at it (double meaning), and it was no use. No response.

"Oh, he's so full of crap!" Kuwabara grumbled. "I just talked to him! He's in there!"

"Well, when all else fails, use the devices that you're given!" Botan declared.

"You mean Spirit World invented a door opening thingy?" Kuwabara then prepared to ad-lib a spontaneous infomercial to introduce the device.

"No! The door knob!" she resolved. She twisted the knob and burst in with the other two, too angry to take in the sight of the apartment until her feet came to a stop.

Shizuru lurked behind in the hallway, rolling her eyes as she blew smoke out of her mouth. After hearing a loud and piercing shriek echo throughout the floor (courtesy of her brother), she had to inform the neighbor that poked their head out of their own place that everything was fine.

* * *

"You know, Hiei," Yusuke whispered into his lover's ear, "I didn't expect you to stick around our first time." He moved his hand along the demon's back, causing the sheet to fall and only barely cover up Hiei's lower portions.

"What _did_ you expect?"

"That you would have freaked out because you did it with a human and the great Hiei could never admit that he had human emotions for a being he hated with every fiber of his own being."

"I already _did_ that a month ago, Yusuke," Hiei informed him, not realizing that he had just said that he had done such an act with another human being a month ago (although Yusuke did and it caused him to utter a minor giggle). Hiei didn't talk much, so he had an excuse to mess up the wording of his statements occassionally.

"And I don't really care," he continued, "you said that you weren't exactly a normal human being yourself."

"Ah…so that's your justification," Yusuke deduced. He kissed Hiei quickly again.

"Hn. One of many," Hiei remarked, not really caring for conversation and indulging the two of them into another long liplock. Because of their compromising position and barely covered 'limbs,' it was obvious what the Universe had in store for them next.

The door opened, and in stormed Botan and Kuwabara, looking especially emotional, with Keiko trailing behind. The smoke that lingered from the hallway was a sign that Shizuru was there as well. Kuwabara screamed rather loudly once he realized what was going on, and Botan gasped. Keiko just cringed a bit, unsure of exactly how to react.

Immediately, Yusuke gripped Hiei tightly, not to show that he was taken, but because he knew that Hiei was going to literally, kill them all, and end up losing his sheet. Hiei's threats of death were muffled by Yusuke's shoulder, fortunately for the rude intruders.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!" Botan (yes, Botan) yelled.

"I could ask you the same question!" Yusuke shouted back, still holding a struggling Hiei down. "Except make the two into a three or a four!"

"We're here to make sure that you aren't doing this!" Botan returned. Keiko uttered a rather feminine grunt to interrupt.

"Um, actually we came to see why you didn't come to school today, Yusuke…" the meek girl corrected. Her eyes were still somewhat averted, trying to stare at the coffee table which housed candy wrappers and empty pop cans. And a black video cassette box which read Omon-kuu and the Adventures of Seiyuugi, a rather cryptic title. She wondered if she had ever seen any advertisements for the film, but figured it was some sort of foreign art film.

"Well, I _actually_ slept in," Yusuke curtly replied. "I'm so happy to see that _Kuwabara_ explained that to you." He shot a rather nasty scowl at his friend, and it would have killed him if eyes could shoot emotionally based projectiles.

"You're going to die, you useless meathead!" Hiei shouted. Into Yusuke's skin.

"Oh, who cares what you're saying, Hiei! How dare you two do this to Keiko!" the spirit guide ranted. Her hands were placed angrily on her hips, contemplating whether or not they should create a giant oar to hit the two with.

"Uh…I'm right here," Keiko reminded everyone, raising her hand a bit. Kuwabara placed his palm on her shoulder and dragged her back a few spaces, warning her that things were probably about to ugly. He did not forget to add a Hiei punchline in there, prompting Shizuru to tell him to 'shut up' from the doorframe.

"Damn it! What's your problem, anyway?" Yusuke exploded, glaring a hole into Botan's face, "Is it that I'm the Spirit Detective and I'm supposed to do as I'm told? Is it it because Hiei's a guy? Because he's a demon? I mean, what the hell! Keiko probably doesn't give a crap anyway. She'll get over it because she knows that I'm happy!"

During the argument, Hiei settled down and decided to keep quiet. He figured that he would find his place to speak. In all honestly, it was the happiness comment that had cooled his boiling blood, but he couldn't dwell too much on that now.

"Gah! Is he _naked_ under there?!" Kuwabara let out in a gargled and disgusted voice.

"SHUT UP!" the human, the demon, and the apparition cried out in unison.

"So you're going to throw all of that away for _him_?!" Botan retorted, looming closer and closer over the two of them. "He's on probation! You have school! You grew up with Keiko!"

No one loved Hiei (as the Botan remark proved). That's why he lived the life that he did.

_"There's nothing to throw away."_

Botan began to rant again at the churlish statement, and Hiei had just about enough of keeping quiet.

"If you had such a problem with it, Botan," Hiei said, lifting his head from Yusuke's comfortable shoulder, "then you would have shown Koenma the photograph you took of us the first night I was under that sentence. You had the power to stop this." The girl fumbled for a comeback, but couldn't find anything decent.

"It's still your fault!" she exclaimed, an accusing index finger directed at Yusuke.

"It's not anyone's fault, stupid!" Yusuke shouted. "You can't help who you fall in love with!"

Hiei and the air around him tensed up. It was at that precise moment that the Universe bestowed upon him a revelation.

Living life purely on the instinct of survival and revenge is eternal suffocation. One needs to breathe the air of another to truly live.

Pissitivity could just be a passing phase.

"So…Urameshi's in love with a guy demon…" the tallest said, breaking the strange silence.

"Quiet, oaf," Hiei emotionally spat out. "_You're _in love with that guy demon's sister so how is that any different?" The teen's jaw gaped open, but Hiei quickly closed it by adding, "Don't you think that there's a good reason I haven't told her? If you know what's good for you…" He continued the threat. "And good for _her_, you'll keep quiet."

There are simply no amount of words that could describe the superfluous thoughts in Kazuma's head at that moment. To randomly choose one, he came up with a few good reasons that Yukina would need to be kept in the dark for, and decided to silently give Hiei his word that he wouldn't tell, no matter how much it ate him up inside.

At least everyone was distracted from the small amounts of water in Hiei's eyes (not that they would be able to understand his crying enough to acknowledge it was happening anyway). He merely pulled himself closer to his lover in an attempt to conceal them further.

"I think that you all need to leave," Yusuke demanded sternly, yet softly. He was too angry to figure out exactly why his skin was slowly becoming damp, but he knew that Hiei would disappear if everyone else saw him upset.

Luckily for both of them, the group complied with the demand. Angry, but they left nonetheless.

"Hiei…what's wrong? You okay man?" Yusuke murmured into the demon's ear, stroking the hair on the back of Hiei's neck.

"I love you too, honey bumpkins!" Hiei suddenly shouted, throwing his arms around him.

Not really. But that passing thought suddenly burst into the boy's head as he awaited an answer. His smile faded when it dawned on him; he had admitted that he _loved_ Hiei! Yusuke scolded himself, he should have known better. Any ordinary person would have been overjoyed at the words, but Hiei…

Hiei would just fall apart, and he was.

So Yusuke Urameshi spent the remainder of the day keeping Hiei together. He cradled him in his lap, speaking no words and only waiting for the subtle tears to subside. It did not take long. He would never ask why the words struck the demon harder than any beast summoned from the pits of Hell ever could.

But if Hiei ever told him…

Yusuke would never tell a soul.

The End…?

* * *

_Author's Note_

Yes. The End. Sayonara Bye-Bye.

Yeah right.

Click my bio and read Awake. That's the sequel! Named after a Dream Theater Album, but also named because Huminshou is pretty much translated into a sleep illness, aka insomnia.

This chapter transgressed into a more serious aura to set up the mood for the sequel.

**Author's note update (9-2-2008) – **As of yet, I have not determined whether or not I will be finishing Awake.

-Zelia


End file.
